pharper@ucbcad.UUCP (06/11/84)
The care of sick children in two career families is a BIG problem.
So far my husband and I have managed by using our sick leave and
taking occasional vacation days and even time off without pay.
We are fortunate to have employers who allow us to use our time
this way; I realize that many employers consider the use of all available
paid leave to be grounds for dismissal. I recently heard that in
Berkeley a group of people has opened a sick-child care center.
Children who are past the contagious stages of their diseases, but
who are still recuperating, are accepted on as needed basis. The
staff includes a nurse who screens the children to assure that they
are not contagious. The cost is $4.50 an hour if I remember correctly.
Their primary goal was to assist parents who may have more than one
child come down with a communicable disease in sequence. Such occurances,
as I recall from childhood, can easily keep a parent out of the work
force for several months.
--Patty Harper
(I am new to networking, but I think my path is:
{allegra|decvax|harpo|ihnp4|teklabs|ucbvax}!cad!pharper)
pharper@berkeley.arpa45223wc@houxe.UUCP (W.CAMBRE) (06/15/84)
My wife and I both work Mon - Fri 8:30 to 5pm.
What are we supposed to do when our child (now 5 1/2 months old)
comes down with some contageous disease and has to stay home
for two weeks? I think any answers would be of interest to
everyone so please post to the net. Thanks in advance.
- Bill Cambre ATTISL 02272 houxe!45223wcwph@iwu1c.UUCP (warren hentrich) (06/15/84)
I suggest that you decide which is more important your sick child or your careers. There is nothing in this world more important than the welfare of your children. W. P. Hentrich iwu1c!wph
norm@ariel.UUCP (06/16/84)
< My wife and I both work Mon - Fri 8:30 to 5pm. <What are we supposed to do when our child (now 5 1/2 months old) <comes down with some contageous disease and has to stay home <for two weeks? I think any answers would be of interest to <everyone so please post to the net. Thanks in advance. < < - Bill Cambre ATTISL 02272 houxe!45223wc < >I suggest that you decide which is more important >your sick child or your careers. There is nothing >in this world more important than the welfare of your >children. > > > W. P. Hentrich > iwu1c!wph > I could suggest that Bill Cambre and his wife each take a week's vacation to "deal with the problem" or to enjoy time with the kid, or I could try to suggest some other solution to his problem. But I'd rather challenge W.P. Hentrich's assertion "There is nothing in this world more important than the welfare of your children." Perhaps the best solution, since Hentrich thinks so highly of your children, is to send your sick child to him! I don't think there is any question about Cambre's love for his child. There is, however, a lot to question about moral pronouncements such as "There is nothing in this world more important than the welfare of your children." I think that parents who love their children should try to do the best they can for them WITHIN THE CONTEXT of also achieving the other values in their lives. Raising kids shouldn't be a sacrifice.... --Norm Andrews ariel!norm
essachs@ihuxl.UUCP (Ed Sachs) (06/18/84)
================================================================== Having three kids, ages 2, 6 and 8, my wife and I occasionally have to cope with one being sick and unable to go to daycare/school. Our most frequent solution is for one of us to stay home in the morning and the other to return lunchtime and stay home in the afternoon. This, however, only works if you are fortunate enough to have the kind of job that allows some flexibility in hours and/or some take-home work. A backup baby-sitter who can come and sit for a sick kid on short notice would be nice, but is frequently unavailable (unfortunately). Also, my wife's employer allows (official policy) her to take a sick day if any member of her immediate family is sick (came in handy when one of the kids was in the hospital for 11 days). Unfortunately, such a policy is the exception rather than the rule (by the way, my wife's employer is the University of Illinois). -- Ed Sachs AT&T Bell Laboratories Naperville, IL ihuxl!essachs
steve1@pyuxu.UUCP (S Stein) (06/18/84)
< My wife and I both work Mon - Fri 8:30 to 5pm. <What are we supposed to do when our child (now 5 1/2 months old) <comes down with some contageous disease and has to stay home <for two weeks? I think any answers would be of interest to <everyone so please post to the net. Thanks in advance. < < - Bill Cambre ATTISL 02272 houxe!45223wc < I really, really empathize with your problem. However, what I don't empathize with is the fact that the first time that this occurs to you as a problem is when your child is 5 1/2 months old. My wife is looking around for a daytime job now (she has been working evenings), when our youngest 2 children are beginning school full-time, and a *MAJOR* consideration for her at this point is the flexibility of hours that she requires, exactly for this reason. Regardless of your opinion of our parenting arrangement, we feel that, though many aspects of and crises in child-rearing cannot be anticipated, this is one that should have been considered when you were planning (or if not planning, expecting) children. Enough moralizing. At this point, it seems that one alternative you have is to try to arrange some kind of flexible work schedule with your employers for the limited time of this problem, or to set up some kind of working arrangement for future occurrences whereby you make up the time on evenings and weekends, when one or the other can stay with the child. One basic truth we have found over the last several years is that you can't pay people to stay with sick children (especially chicken pox!); they simply don't want to take the risk that a parent takes. Steve Stein Bellcore
pc@hplabsb.UUCP (Patricia Collins) (06/18/84)
I have been struggling with the sick child and career responsibility
problem for a year. My husband and I have worked out a solution that neither
of us finds "perfect" but both of us finds acceptable. It is based on a few
premises:
1. A young child who is ill might be traumatized if left with strangers.
2. It is neither "fair" to the sick child nor the daycare center
children to have a sick child among healthy children. (And at our
daycare center, there is a policy that clearly spells out that sick
children may not return until they've been well for 24 hrs.)
3. Our jobs often entail meetings or other activities where other
people depend on our participation.
4. Our working hours are more flexible than, for example, a school
teacher's or secretary's.
SO: When we wake up in the morning and find Adam has a 102o fever,
we know someone will be home AT LEAST that day and the next; probably 3
days. We figure out who can stay home when and make whatever phone calls
are necessary to rearrange commitments at work, then hope Adam will sleep
a lot so we can get some work done at home.
I have found it impossible to make up all of the hours I miss by
working at night and on weekends, although my husband manages to do that.
I have already used 5 flexible-time-off days out of my 15 for the year,
just taking care of our little boy.
When children are kept in isolation, they aren't exposed to as
many diseases, viruses, etc. So, parents can make the decision to isolate
their young child and just go through the ~18 months of illnesses when
the child begins school.
Patricia Collins
BTW: I *would* like to request that those who have decided they must
share their moralistic diatribes kindly post them to net.holier-than-thou.
IF you have children and IF you have given up a career to stay home with
them full time, then please feel free to share your experiences as something
which works for you. But please don't preach; and PLEASE don't tell those who
are different from you that they are immoral/unethical/damned/inferior.
--
Patricia
{ucbvax|duke|hao|allegra}!hplabs!pcted@teldata.UUCP (Ted Becker) (06/18/84)
*********** Since the child would not be a sacrifice send it to Norm.
rob@ctvax.UUCP (06/19/84)
#R:houxe:-51200:ctvax:58200002:000:358 ctvax!rob Jun 19 01:15:00 1984 <<< ... Raising kids shouldn't be a sacrifice.... <<<--Norm Andrews ariel!norm If not a sacrifice, then certainly a compromise. Look after the kid. If the employer doesn't want to understand and work out a deal (vacation, making up the time, giving you a home terminal, etc), then you're probably better off somewhere else anyway. Rob Spray ...ctvax!rob
saquigley@watmath.UUCP (Sophie Quigley) (06/24/84)
OK, all you holier-than-though people. How many of you have a child?
How many of you NEED to work to support the child? It is easy to
chastise other people for not being able to take time off from their
work to take care of their kids or to criticise them for not having
"planned" better when things have turned out alright for you. Life is not
always easy, some people don't have the luxury of a choice between a hundred
job or of being in a position to be able to negotiate time off with their
bosses. Sure they should change bosses, but that's easier said than done!.
Sophie Quigley
...!{clyde,ihnp4,decvax}!watmath!saquigleydpw@rayssd.UUCP (06/28/84)
Let us also not forget about the single parent. Darryl Wagoner !allegra!rayssd!dpw