elt@astrovax.UUCP (Ed Turner) (07/26/84)
My wife and I have a son who is 6 years old and are happily anticipating the arrival of a second child in November. The issue on which I seek the net's "wisdom" is how to help our 6 year old prepare for the arrival of his sibling and the inevitable impact on his life. Generally I would be interested in any tips on how to promote good sibling relations, problems to anticipate, advantages or disadvantages of a fairly large age difference, etc. Both my wife and I are a bit apprehensive about this issue, perhaps because neither of us had satisfactory relationships with our siblings as children. I should mention that our son already knows that a baby is on the way and is *very* happy about the prospect. Of course this theoretical enthusiasm will undoubted be dampened (at least at times) by the reality of jealousies, etc. One experienced (3 grown children) friend even suggested that we tell our son that he should expect to be "mad at the baby" sometimes so that he will not feel guilty about any negative emotions he may have. Mostly we have told him how much fun it will be to be a "big brother", an idea he responds to well as I mentioned before. Ed Turner astrovax!elt
janr@tekecs.UUCP (Jan Rowell) (08/04/84)
I think it's great that your older child is so positive about the baby. My two kids are exactly 6 years apart -- Pete just turned 7, and Katie is now a year old. Although he's basically a pretty secure kid, Pete had some real anxiety before Katie was born. In fact, the night before I went into labor, he started talking about committing suicide or running away from home because he was sure no one would love him after the baby came. (This came at a time of great family stress -- moving, pregnancy complications, his having been away at my parents' house for 3 days.) Needless to say, we were pretty freaked out by it. Fortunately, she was born the next day and he was able to see that his fantasies were *not* realistic! He's been a great big brother to her, and she absolutely adores him. I think because he's so much older, he is somewhat parental to her -- not in a bossy way, just sort of doting and paternalistic. It's pretty sweet. We've been happy having our kids far apart. The one negative I can think of is that it's harder to find family activities when the kids are far apart. One thing I think is important is to continue to do things just with your older child. Good luck!