nowlin@ihu1e.UUCP (Jerry Nowlin) (09/12/84)
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As a person who considers himself very tolerant of some things I
recognize that I'm definitely intolerant of others. One thing I'm very
against is smoking (bare with me a while). I hate it with a passion. I still
have friends and relatives that smoke, but I've given up trying to convince
most of them to quit. All of them know just how I feel.
Homosexuality is something that's not intrusive like smoking. I don't
have any particular antipathy toward homosexuals. I won't give you any "Some
of my best friends are..." crap. I've had friends that were gay, but at the
time I didn't know it. I probably know people that are gay now, but I don't
make that a question that determines who I talk to or hang out with so it's
never come up.
I have 3 kids. The oldest are just getting started in school. I'd like
them to understand that there are differences in sexual preference. I can
accept homosexuality as an alternative life style that I haven't tried myself
but don't condemn others for living. I'm not sure I can bring myself to
portray homosexuality as an *acceptable* alternative to the relationship I
share with my wife.
It won't be hard for me to talk to my kids about not smoking. They know
how I feel about it and I can give them lots of reasonable arguments against
doing it themselves. Homosexuality is really tough.
I'm not sure whether I should try to dissuade my kids from trying it or
what reasons I could use if I decided to try. I don't give a hoot about what
the bible says. There are no reasons in that book for doing or not doing
anything that I would quote to my children. The only logical argument I can
think of against homosexuality is the possibility of social pressure against
that kind of life style making it hard to get jobs, find places to live, etc.
I'd like my kids to be independent of social pressures, peer pressures
and other types of influence like that. I want them to think and make
decisions for themselves. I'd like them to stand up for what they think to
the point of fighting the kind of stigma that a homosexual life style might
cause, instead of avoiding the situation. I'll undermine that wish if I use
that very kind of pressure as a reason for abandoning a particular life style.
It all boils down to wanting my children to grow up healthy and live
happy lives. If they'll be happier as homosexuals do I have the right to
burden them with lots of guilt just because that's not the choice I would
make?
I'm not asking for arguments for or against homosexuality. I'm fairly
certain there are lots of other parents out there who find themselves in this
dilemma, pondering the same questions I am. Has anybody had to broach this
subject yet with their kids? What will you do when the time comes?
Jerry Nowlin
ihnp4!ihu1e!nowlin