[net.kids] women as mothers VS men as fathers

peg@linus.UUCP (Margaret E. Craft) (09/12/84)

Perhaps this doesn't belong here - if so, tell me where else to take it...

I'm getting tired of the attitude that women who are mothers and work
are excused only if they "have" to work.  Why can't "society" finally
accept the fact that many women WANT to work??  We may also WANT to
be parents!!  Nothing so new there - men have been doing it for years!!

I admit that the logistics of working parenting are harder,
and that it takes a LOT of care to find the time to spend with
growing children, but I  *know*  I am a better mother as a working
mother than I would be as a non-working mother...

As a single, working mother, I'm tired of people feeling sorry for me.
I am single by choice, a mother by choice, and a computer scientist
by choice (although I admit I'd prefer to work fewer hours - the 
dial-in time I work after my child is asleep get to be OLD fast...).

My child is happy, well adjusted, smart and loving.  Judgin from the
results, I"m not doing anything terribly wrong.  And I'm enjoying it!

I am much closer to her than most working fathers I know are to their
own kids.  And I'm tired of people trying to make me feel guilty about
the fact that I enjoy working...

ANyone else dealing with this?  It tends to come mainly from older,
more traditional types, but also from peers.  As I said, I tend to
be "excused" for my "behavior" since I "have" to work, but the
attitude is still there...

Any fathers out there dealing with such attitudes??

oh well.  not sure where that got me, but it's said, so ...

PS - on re-reading, a PS is in order...  with all the emphasis I put on
working, I probably should make it clear that, given the choice, I'd
put parenting above working anyday.  Occasionally a specific choice
will be in support of the career, but the overall game plan revolves
around my little family...  Again - no conflict here.  I know what's
MOST important to me, but I also know that I want to staisfaction
of working and supporting myself...