ellen@ucla-cs.UUCP (11/12/84)
i now have a very bright 4 year old. i cannot say how much was due to inherent qualities and how much to stimulation in infancy, but i sure believe in the value of early stimulation. so, here are some books i would recommend to new or soon-to-be parents, on several topics: 1) "The First Twelve Months of Life" by Frank Caplan and the Princeton Center for Infancy & Early Childhood, pub. Bantam Books (paper). This is subtitled "Your baby's growth month by month. While it presents guidelines in infant development, suggestions for suitable toys and games and activities, descriptions of typical behavior and development, the authors never forget that each child is an individual and that babies do not follow a strict time table. very useful to see where one is going, what is `normal', what to expect, and to help keep new parents from having unrealistic expectations of their new child(ren). definitely useful to first-time parents, and, from what i have heard, even to not-brand-new parents. 2) "Your Baby and Child" by Penelope Leach, pub. Alfred A. Knopf (paper). The author is British, so there are a few phrases that may differ, but this certainly does not detract from the value of this book. a parent i know who just had a third child bought this book, feeling that this was a very useful book. gives guidelines for development, how to deal with various problems, answers many parents' questions; wonderful photographs of children of all ages and races at play, experiencing the various emotions of childhood, interacting with other children and adults; helpful charts and pictures of how to diaper, bathe, clothe a new infant; first aid procedures and what to do til the doctor comes; comparative tables of different ways to cope with problem behavior and suggestions for coping with it or modifying it, etc. i like this better than Spock or (what's his name ?Fitzhugh Dodson? or something like that). 3) "Total Baby Development" by Dr. Jaroslav Koch, pub. A Wallaby Book by Pocket Books. Don't be put off by the name ("Total" "Complete" yuck!) this is a FANTASTIC book to have for interacting with your baby. it basically only goes up to the first year, but within that time your baby will do more growing and changing physically, mentally, and emotionally than at any other time in her/his life. you'll be amazed at what that tiny "weak" infant is capable of. the subtitle is "over 300 exercises and games to stimulate your baby's intellectual, physical, and emotional development" and i don't doubt it for a minute. when you don't know what to do with that little thing that may not seem to aware of the world around her/him, open this up at the right age level and start interacting. you'll find that little blob of soft flesh and wet diaper is much deeper and more fun. suggestions for toys and games you can make yourself (i like that, it's certainly isn't necessary to buy a lot of useless pastel junk and soft undemanding stuffed creatures for a baby). 4) "Growing Up Free" by Letty Cottin Pogrebin, (i bought the hard cover when it first came out, but it is available in paper now). This is a very valuable book if you want to do your best to help your child grow up to be a WHOLE person able to reach her/his full potential; not a fluffy girly thing who can't figure out what's wrong with the car or balance her checkbook because she's afraid of numbers; not a tough macho guy who doesn't care how other people feel as long as he can get his rocks off. The author is a feminist - she is happily married and has three children. She is not interested in females who hate men or men who wimper. She is interested in people who are in touch with all their faculties, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual; and her book examines in detail, with footnotes and scientific information, what happens to people who are cut off from important parts of themselves, the way a standard male-female cultural dichotomy teachs; she want people to be able to consciously make their life goal choices - if a woman wants to be a "homebody" she should be doing that because it is what she WANTS, not because she has been brainwashed to believe that is all she is capable of doing; if a man wants to nurture, he should be free to make that choice without fear of being thought "less than a real man" because it's not the conventional way to be. the author is constructive, supportive, positive, intelligent, compassionate, and supports all arguements with a vast amount of research into the literature of child development, psychology, education, etc. Should be required reading for all parents. on the subject of toys, there are two brands of infant toys that come to mind as being worthwhile (of course there are others, but these are especially good for new babies). One is Fisher Price: i have no vested interest in the company, but over the years, i found their toys to be durable, sustain interest over a long period of time (kids don't get bored in a week or two because most are so open ended, lending themselves to a variety of types and levels of play), are definitely geared to development and fun at the same time, are made for both boys and girls so the parents don't have to get hung up in sexism (little girls like trucks (sets with male and female scientist or truck driver dolls) and boys like something to cuddle (the company makes a friendly boy doll to dress and hug, tho' it may be hard to find, since the standard toy stores think along standard lines (pink's for girls and blue's for boys)). they may cost a little more than some competing companies (esp. some of the clone toys from Hong Kong and Taiwan) but they are much better designed and made, so they function better and last longer. The second changed its name since i bought their toys. it was a Swedish company called Semper and they make crib and stroller toys that are fantastic. none of those wimpy pastels that don't get to the kid's optic nerve, but bright primaries + green on very modern toys. i bought the crib toys: they screw (with large, boldly colored plastic screws) onto a bar that attaches to the top rails of the crib - they are interchangable so you can switch them when the kid gets bored with one or outgrows one. they are geared to monthly stages of infant development and kept my very demanding baby entertained and engaged. i'm unfortunately unsure of the name they are sold under now - i think an American company bought the rights to distribution in the States - but they are fairly easy to identify, they look so very European, clean and modern, in little clear plastic cases with handles and a photo of a European baby (you can tell by the brightly colored and modern baby clothes) playing with the one in the box. There was a four bladed spinner of bold yellow with large green balls on the ends (Tamara loved this one), a peek-a-boo toy: baby pulls on a large ring and a simple, cleanly- designed face on a head pops up out of a box, a "bee" (looked like a butterfly to me) that flaps and clacks its wings when baby pulls the ring (Tamara loved this). i would recommend these over the VERY UGLY American crib toys (those HIDEOUS peek-a-boo day-glo clowns and wimpy bunnies). These tend to be sold in "better" toy shops, not usually the discount chains, but look anyway, you never can be sure.