pkaiser@jaws.DEC (Pete Kaiser HLO2-1/N10 225-5441) (11/09/84)
This falls in the category of "I-wish-someone-had-told-us"; in our case, someone did, and with some skepticism, we reined in our urge to acquire long in advance everything we could imagine wanting for Mimi's first year. If you're expecting your first, you're probably as anxious as we were. Be calm. Healthy newborns are small, and don't require a whole lot of furniture and rolling stock. Believe it or not, an ordinary-sized newborn (and long before the baby is born you'll know whether it's an ordinary size) can be securely laid to sleep in a dresser drawer, so there's no rush to get a crib. You might want to wait for someone to give or lend you one. When you get one, be sure it meets the Federal safety standards, which are designed to ensure that a child can't get its head caught in the rails or ornaments and be hurt. All new ones will meet the standards. Likewise there are Federal safety standards for car seats. Car seats are also widely available used (in our area, for around $10 - $20). The consensus of us and our friends is that the small size Love Seat is the best of the ones designed for newborns. And it *is* very convenient, since it's safe, not too difficult to carry, and the modern ones don't require you to pass the seat belt through a closed hole; they have slits for that that make life easier. But check Consumer Reports if you want to know more; they've evaluated child seats. Toddlers require another whole dimension of criteria. Incidentally, our HMO also hands out information on car seats, and some local hospitals will lend you one in which to take a newborn home. Our state law requires them for children under 6 years, and although parents mostly flout the law, hospitals do not. Our hospital checked to see that we had a car seat before they'd release the child. We didn't feel the need for a stroller for quite a while; we usually carried Mimi in a carrier until she was over a year old. We used three different ones: my sister made us a frontal carrier from a Frostline kit (similar to a Snugli), and when Mimi had good neck control we got a Gerry Pleatseat from Sears. Later we got a Gerry backpack seat. The frontal carrier was comfort- able only when Mimi was quite small; the idea looks fine, but when she got some poundage, it was very tiring to carry her that way. The back seat is fine for the posture and endurance, but deprived us of contact (imagine going for a walk with another adult who's always close *behind* you). So for a long time my wife Luce used the Pleatseat and I just carried Mimi in my arms. I often do now, and she's nearly 3. But now she also enjoys both walking (or rather, running!) on her own, of course; or riding on my shoulders. When you do need a stroller (and you will) I recommend against the expensive space-age jobbies, with the proviso that the one you get should have a good price-performance ratio for sturdiness. Look for one that has a sunshield or an attachable umbrella, a place to hang or place parcels, and that folds up small enough to handle easily. If you wear out two cheap ones that total less than one expensive one, you're still ahead. In our case a little home repair kept our cheap one going long enough. The advice not to buy too much goes double for clothes and toys. You may be amazed at what an admiring coterie of friends and family will give you and lend you for your newborn. You may be embarrassed. Our friends and family gave us lots of stuff. Some of it we even liked. Mimi has a sizable stable of plush toys she never even glanced at -- but she was also given lots of very usable, attractive clothing, both new and used. Finally, in our area there's a store that sells seconds of maternity clothes and baby things, brand new items that have small cosmetic faults but are perfectly usable. Who cares if a mattress pad or baby blanket or diaper is slightly off square? We didn't. Really, if you have food for your newborn (Mimi was breast-fed) you could bring it home stark naked with no other preparation, tear up old shirts for diapers, and it wouldn't be horrible. I wouldn't exactly say "relax", but I do advise you not to buy too much ahead of time. ---Pete
jerry@oliveb.UUCP (Jerry Aguirre) (11/13/84)
There is another reason for not going shopping the day you find out
your pregnant. The baby may not come. Having to sort thru cute little
outfits after you have had a miscarriage can be a downer. It's bad
enough having to explain what happened to all the people you rushed out
and told.
Before you say it won't happen to me: The statistics I hear are 1 out
of 4 pregnancies. I would say that a 25% chance of loosing the baby is
pretty bad odds. It seems to be one of those things that "isn't
discussed".
I don't mean to put anyone off having kids. It's still worth it.
Jerry Aguirre @ Olivetti ATC
{hplabs|fortune|idi|ihnp4|ios|tolerant|allegra|tymix}!oliveb!jerry