mark@tove.UUCP (Mark Weiser) (01/02/85)
In article <1216@linus.UUCP> peg@linus.UUCP (Margaret E. Craft) writes: (I love how rn sticks that little comment in above without me hardly asking...) >Another issue I have yet to decide: should a 2 year old come to >visit mom in the hospital? I asked about 8 people how their 2 year old >reacted when they DID visit, and 3 of them had horror stories. >Intestingly, all three were working mothers! I'd have guessed that >kids of working Moms would handle it better, but then all had major >problems "leaving Mom behind". Of the other 5, only 2 were positive - >the other 3 were "didn't seem to matter one way or the other". >Anyone else want to add to the data pool? Maybe I'll be late enuf >to use the advice!! > > peggy craft I'll add to a different but possibly related data pool: young children present at births. This generally requires a home birth, I think-- at least it was in our case. Nicole, age 4, more or less hung around and watched her sister Corinne be born. Nicole had her own caretaker (Mom and Dad were kind of busy), a close friend we were all comfortable with on such an occasion. Nicole drifted in and out of the birthing room (Mom and Dad's bedroom) as things interested her. Once Cori became visible her interest never waned, and things moved pretty fast at that point anyway. -- Spoken: Mark Weiser ARPA: mark@maryland Phone: (301) 454-7817 CSNet: mark@umcp-cs UUCP: {seismo,allegra}!umcp-cs!mark USPS: Computer Science Dept., University of Maryland, College Park, MD 20742
cdash@druxv.UUCP (Shub) (01/04/85)
our (at the time) 3 yr 11 mo daughter was allowed into the hospital and got to hold her younger brother when he was 7 hours old. she loved it. If the hospital will let you, i recommend getting the siblings in asap cdash
phil@ucla-cs.UUCP (01/04/85)
Concerning children at home births, I have experince and a couple of
comments. Having helped delivered two of my three children at home, we
have also had the opportunity to have our older child(ren) present at
out younger children's births. We were definitely in favor of having
Shiri-li, who was 2 years old at the time of Zeev's birth, present
at Zeev's birth. We were told that this was a very good experience
for siblings, and even though a bit scary, it was possible to prepare
children for the birth experience. We followed all the advice we were
given, talking about the birth, taking her to see slides and movies of
births and everything seemed very good. We had a special friend, whom
she felt very comfortable with, present so she could have his undivided
attention. Everything went very well through the first stage. She
gave her mother ice chips and wandered in and out very excited about
what was going on. However, when my wife went into transition and very
active labor, she got very frightened. Our friend was with her all the
time and she insisted on being next to her mother, which she was able
to do (it was very crowded, my wife, a midwife, an assitant, Shiri-li,
and our friend all crowded about a bed). I do feel she was traumatized
by the exprience. The reason I am writing this message is because I
felt we were misled into thinking it was no problem for a two year
old to observe her mother in labor. I have been at a number of other
births where older siblings were present and very invovled. It was a
beautiful experience for all. In fact, I also know of another two year
old who observed her sister's birth and she didn't have any of the overt
expressions of fear and anxiety that my daughter exhibited.
At the second home birth, Shiri-li and Zeev (aged 4 and 2) were
asleep during most of the labor. My parents came over to take them
to their house at 8:30 am, which was about an hour or less before the
birth. Before they left, they came to our room and spoke with their
mother about the baby. They saw her going through a relatively mild
contraction and Zeev was very excited. Shiri-li seemed to still be
asleep (I wouldn't doubt that it was intentional). They came back an
hour and a half later and were both full of excitement. They were able
to touch the baby and sit next to their mother. They really loved that.
To sum it up, we have found that having young siblings actually
observing the birth is an issue that one must consider very seriously.
However, being able to see mom and the new baby soon after made them
feel secure that mom was alright and that the baby was safe. I felt
that was definitely worthwhile. Mom certainly loved it!
Phil (Pinchas)
No Longer Tenured Graduate Student
Mathematics Department
UCLA
ARPA: phil @ ucla-cs.arpa
UUCP: {cepu,ihnp4,randvax,sdcrdcf,trwspp,ucbvax,ucivax,muddcs}!ucla-cs!phil