mark@tove.UUCP (Mark Weiser) (02/06/85)
In article <28300004@waltz.UUCP> meyer@waltz.UUCP writes: >Well, I have to say that I think it is a bad idea to get in the habit of >having the kids sleep with mom and dad, even at infancy. >I do know of a couple that likes to sleep with their kids. They started it >because of the convience of breast feeding, thus mommy didn't have to really >wake up to do the feeding. As the kiddo got older, it was still comforting >to be in bed with mom and dad. This child is about 4 years old now -- >still breast feeds occationally (there is a new baby in the family), and >she is afraid to sleep by herself or stay with grandma, etc. Generalizing from a sample size of one can be dangerous. Let me add a datapoint. Our children are permitted to sleep with us whenever they choose. They are now 7.5 and 3.5, and mostly choose to sleep in their own beds. They love to sleep by themselves, stay with grandma (in fact, the older one relishes "sleeping in a different house from mom and dad and invents opportunities for doing so), have no problems with baby sitters, etc. Most people do not like to sleep alone all the time. I don't. Why should my kids be different? Why should they spend long lonely hours in their own room waiting for adulthood, and only then can they finally sleep with someone else? It seems to me that that way lies insecurity and the potential for overcompensation when the other sex is discovered. Sure its a little inconvenient for us sometimes (but is there ANYTHING convenient about parenting?) Recall that I am also the person who tried to hold our children as infants as much as possible--virtually NEVER letting them be out of physical contact with another human until many weeks into their life. I think (just a wild opinion, mind you) that this early security helped them handle the freedom of choosing when to sleep with us. -- Spoken: Mark Weiser ARPA: mark@maryland Phone: +1-301-454-7817 CSNet: mark@umcp-cs UUCP: {seismo,allegra}!umcp-cs!mark USPS: Computer Science Dept., University of Maryland, College Park, MD 20742