rsk@stat-l (Wombat) (02/20/85)
I recently acquired a copy of "Search: A Handbook for Adoptees and Birthparents", by Jayne Askin and Bob Oskam...a very good book if you fall into either one of those categories--or know someone who does. It's published by Harper & Row, copyright 1982, $15.95 hardcover, and it's extremely useful. -- Rich Kulawiec @ Purdue Unix Wombat Group rsk@purdue-asc.arpa (decvax,ihnp4,uiucdcs)!pur-ee!rsk.uucp (decwrl,hplabs,ucbvax)!purdue!rsk.uucp May you live in interesting times. -- Ancient Chinese Curse
jss@sjuvax.UUCP (J. Shapiro) (02/25/85)
[Pacman's revenge...] Having been adopted, I have sometimes wondered about attempting to locate my natural parents. After some thought I concluded that my adopted parents were my "real" parents, not because I think the people who gave me up did something wrong, but simply because my adopted folks have given so much time, caring, effort, and love into raising me. On the ohter hand, I was adopted young (3 days old), and never knew my real parents. Ultimately I concluded that this is just as well, as the meeting might go one of three ways. I might conclude I was better off adopted, in which case the pain of meeting them isn't worth it. The reactions might be neutral, in which event I have plenty of acquaintances already, and the effort to track them down is something of a waste. The reactions might be very positive, in which veent I can't escape the feeling that my natural parents might feel quite upset about having given me up. That seems like a no win situation. I am curious what other adoptees and natural parents who have given up children think about this, particularly the latter, as I can't possibly know their perspective. Comments? Jon Shapiro Haverford College
laura@utzoo.UUCP (Laura Creighton) (02/27/85)
I know some people who have given up children for adoption. They do not want to be found again. By the time their children are old enough to go looking, they have/expect to have their own lives. They do not want the distravtion or responsiblity of a new person in their life who has strong feelings as to how they should behave or who might want to cliam a relationship which they do not want to acknowledge. it may be that in 15 years they will change their tune. But I hate the thought of people tracking them down in the middle of the night when they do not wish to be found. Laura Creighton utzoo!laura