regard@ttidcc.UUCP (Adrienne Regard) (02/27/85)
Re the "lying" issue and don't ask unnecessary questions: I picked up my daughter from school one day and she told me all about "the kids did this - the kids did that" (can't remember what it was now). I was amazed at such whatever-odd-behaviour it was, and we talked about how she should handle it. The next day, when I picked her up, she told the the kids did the same thing that day, too. I didn't believe her and said, "I'm not going to fall for that story." She said, "Why not? You fell for it yesterday." She was 4 1/2 at the time. I can remember from my childhood only one occasion of sticking by a lie when I knew and the person confronting me knew that it was a lie. A very educational experience that stuck with me for years -- when to back down, and when it would cost too much to do so. And I didn't lie much because people would catch you in it, and that was embarassing. I tend to treat lying as "little kid" behaviour - which clearly tells my daughter that she won't be turned into salt for fibs, but that I am likely to laugh at her evident "lack" of maturity. It gives me the freedom to catch her up, laugh at the result, and all without great risk of bodily or psychological harm to her. It also explains to her why 5 year olds get away with what a 7 year old can't.