chris@byucsa.UUCP (Chris J. Grevstad) (08/04/84)
<> I'd like some feedback from you out there about getting your kids to sleep throught the night. My daughter is 14 months and she's slept through the night maybe 2 or 3 times. I keep telling my wife that if she didn't get up with the baby every time the baby cried, our daughter would soon learn to sleep all night. Please mail replies to : harpo!utah-cs!beesvax!byucsa!chris -- Chris Grevstad "Affection is a noble quality; It leads to generosity and jollity. But it also leads to breach of promise If you go around lavishing it on red-hot momise."
susan@vaxwaller.UUCP (Susan Finkelman) (01/23/85)
I have a six 1/2 month old baby who still wakes up at night wanting to eat. She's breastfed and getting cereal and fruit or vegetables around 7 in the evening. I am tired. Most of the people I've asked haven't had the problem, others have said to let her cry a few nights & break the habit. Has anyone else out there solved this one? Thanks, Susan Finkelman
janr@tekecs.UUCP (Jan Rowell) (01/25/85)
First of all, my sympathies. Both of my kids were breastfed and late to sleep through the night, and I got really *tired* of it. My impression is that it's fairly common, though, if that's any consolation. With Katie, nothing worked except for her to outgrow it (about a year). With Pete, we started sending my husband in with a word of comfort and a small glass of water, and that did the trick.
kaiser@jaws.DEC (Pete Kaiser 225-5441 HLO2-1/N10) (01/27/85)
> I have a six 1/2 month old baby who still wakes up at night wanting > to eat. She's breastfed and getting cereal and fruit or vegetables > around 7 in the evening. > > I am tired. Most of the people I've asked haven't had the problem, > others have said to let her cry a few nights & break the habit. > Has anyone else out there solved this one? > > Thanks, > Susan Finkelman There are several things here: (a) an infant's sleeping pattern; (b) changing an infant's sleeping pattern; and (c) mother is tired. How I sympathize! At 3 years old, Mimi still doesn't always sleep through the night. Susan, I hope it may be some comfort to you to know that infants differ vastly from each other in how and when they sleep, and it's not just a matter of "habit". We have some friends whose first child, Allie, is a few months older than Mimi. Allie not only slept through the night, but napped several hours a day as well, whereas Mimi not only didn't nap until she was around 2, but was awake from about 8 A.M. often until past 11 P.M., and would wake up several times during the night to nurse. Our friends saw how ragged we were in Mimi's first couple of years -- during that time Mimi may possibly have slept through the night 2 or 3 times -- and had plenty of advice for us, including the one we've all heard: "close the kid's door, turn up the radio/TV, and don't go in for any reason". (This is supposed to "teach" the kid not to cry itself to sleep, and to work in -- folklore has it -- 5 days.) We were simply unwilling to do that; more below. Anyhow, we just stayed tired a lot of the time, since even though Luce was the one doing the nursing at night, I usually woke up too. But we felt good to know that Mimi was getting the loving attention she deserved (not that it wasn't sometimes difficult). Anyhow, our friends had another kid. This one wasn't a sleeper like her sister, and somehow all the good advice we had gotten didn't seem to work for the advisors. One day Luce found herself being asked "What can I do? This baby just won't sleep! How on earth do you take it?" We chose simply not to try to train Mimi to sleep through the night (a position I had to arrive at, since I didn't start there). Why? I'm deeply convinced that you can't "teach" an infant to sleep through the night, not in any adult sense of the word "teach". Luce and I felt that the procedure described above ("close the door ...") is *CONDITIONING*: that we could *CONDITION* Mimi not to expect attention to her needs, but that she wouldn't be learning anything from that. This was the opposite of what we wanted for her, and still want. I hope she feels her needs *WILL* be met, and that as she grows, she'll discover what are "wants" and what are "needs". And although it has been difficult at times, we've found we have the emotional and physical resilience to handle it. One factor in this is that Luce wasn't working at the time, and has worked only part-time since Mimi was born. Another is the undeniable primality of Mimi in our lives. And who knows what else ... I certainly don't. I repeat: it's sometimes hard, and the most difficult times have been between Luce and me over some dumb issue or other because we're stretched to the limit. Most such "issues" from these moments, if not all, have turned out to be unimportant. This has rambled, I realize. What I meant to convey is that your child isn't displaying any abnormality in needing little sleep; that it's a legitimate decision not to try to change that; and that you may find yourself pursuing that direction even if it's difficult. Although I can't, of course, say what our lives would have been like if we had conditioned Mimi to sleep through the night, I'm satisfied with what we've done. So far! ---Pete Kaiser%JAWS.DEC@decwrl.arpa, Kaiser%BELKER.DEC@decwrl.arpa {allegra|decvax|ihnp4|ucbvax}!decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-jaws!kaiser DEC, 77 Reed Road (HLO2-1/N10), Hudson MA 01749 617/568-5441
gp@lll-crg.ARPA (George Pavel) (01/28/85)
> > I have a six 1/2 month old baby who still wakes up at night wanting > to eat... I am tired. We have a nine month old who wakes up two or three times a night to eat, and we're tired, too. Many books say after six months or so, babies should sleep through the night; but the reality, talking to other parents, is different. We recently heard from one couple whose four-year old still wakes up at night. We don't believe in letting our baby girl cry when we know what she needs (to eat). We assume that over time, and as she eats more solids, she will naturally stretch out her sleep periods.
merrill@rex.DEC (01/29/85)
Every evening at 8:30 my wife gives the baby (now 2 months) a warm bath then tops off the baby's milk tank and puts her to bed. Jayne sleeps from 9:00 to about 5:30 (knock on wood - no, the baby's sleeping! Wife says this Standard Operating Proceedure "lets the baby know it's time to sleep". Well, it's been working for the last 4 weeks and it worked with our four older children too. Good luck, Rick
meyer@waltz.UUCP (01/30/85)
Getting up with kiddo several times through the night is a price that most
of us parents have to suffer through, at least for the first 2 or 3 months
anyway. The lucky parents find that the child then will start sleeping
through the night all by themselves without any "conditioning".
We weren't one of the lucky parents, as our boy didn't start sleeping
through the night regularily until around 9 months. But he was having
lots of sickly problems like ear infections, bronchitas, roseola, colds,
etc, etc -- so we would jump up and dash into his room at his first peep
because we thought he needed the comforting while he was sick. Ah, but
when we finally got him healthy, he still remembered that all it took
was a little peep (or a full blown crying session) to get us in there
for a some "sugar". We soon realized that we had a smart kiddo here,
and we made some changes. We would still go in to see if he was OK (no
fever, not a super messy diaper, etc) and give him some love pats, but
then we would go back to our room -- if he didn't like it, he'd cry it
out. This lasted just three or four nights -- and he started sleeping
all through the night (conditioned?!).
I personally don't think this type of approach (conditioning) is bad
for kiddo. I think you will find many more cases as your child grows
up, where they use similar tactics to get you to do what they want you
to do. But then again, if you think that your child really does "need"
your attention during those cries in the night, I'm sure it won't hurt
him for you to continue getting up -- it's up to you!
==============================================================================
Dane Meyer (Texas Instruments, Dallas site)
ARPA: ==> Meyer%waltz%TI-CSL@CSNET-Relay
CSNET: ==> Meyer@TI-CSL
USENET: ==> {convex!smu, ut-sally, texsun, rice}!waltz!meyer peg@linus.UUCP (Margaret E. Craft) (02/01/85)
My first child did not sleep thru until 11 months. Reason: she didn;t like formula/bottles very much (and absolutely refused breast milk in a bottle) so was very hungry at night! At leasdt that was my theory. I didn't see it as a problem - i'm one of the lucky ones who doesn't mind waking up two or three times a night, as long as I get 8 hours total sleep. But if you DO mind, try more food/formula - you might lose the comfort/pleasure/convenience of nursing, but gain some uninterrupted sleep. Also, talk to more people - among the parents I know, it is not at all unusal for a child to take 8 or 9 months to sleep through - but then again, I know lots of working omothers who are trying to nurse... One unfortunate friend has a second child who is STILL waking up at least once a night - at the age of 1 1/2. Guess the thing to remember is that they are all different - I'm hoping, for example, that MY second one sleeps through sooner - I do need the sleep more this time around...
rcs@byucsc.UUCP (Shin Roxann C Moore ) (02/22/85)
> > I have a six 1/2 month old baby who still wakes up at night wanting > to eat. She's breastfed and getting cereal and fruit or vegetables > around 7 in the evening. > > I am tired. Most of the people I've asked haven't had the problem, > others have said to let her cry a few nights & break the habit. > Has anyone else out there solved this one? > > Thanks, > Susan Finkelman *** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE *** You might try feeding her just before *your* bedtime, even if that means waking her up. Roxann Shin
robbin@spp3.UUCP (Robbin Brahms) (03/12/85)
> > > > I have a six 1/2 month old baby who still wakes up at night wanting > > to eat. She's breastfed and getting cereal and fruit or vegetables > > around 7 in the evening. > > > > You might try feeding her just before *your* bedtime, even if that means > waking her up. > When my son was 7 week old I was instructed by my mother to start waking him up at 12:00 midnight, then do this for a couple weeks, then move it gradually towards the earlier evening sometime around 7:00-8:00 pm. What I would do is wake him up at midnight and change his diaper to wake him enough so he would finish off the bottle, he never knew he was awake. The first night I did this I was given bliss and able to sleep 6 hours straight (from waking ever 4). Anyway I gradually moved it down to 9:00 and he would sleep till 6:30 - 7:00. (this process took about 2 1/2 months) He is now 10 months and I give him a bottle after his bath at night around 7:30 - 8:00 and he sleeps till between 6:30 - 7:30 am. Letting him cry sometimes (as one book I read confirmed) gets both of you up. Depending on how long you let him cry by the time you finally go to him it would have probably been shorter if you just went to him as soon as he called. ( I believe this was from the book "Birth to Pre-school" by P. Leach) Also they never always sleep through the night even when it seems to becoming a habit. (the boggy man, shadows in the dark, normal awakeness, etc.) Good luck, Robbin Brahms usenet: {decvax,ucbvax}!trwrb!trwspp!robbin I couldn't wait till the baby was born so I could go back to sleeping till noon (ha ha)