[net.kids] Waking Behavior / Night Training

cm@unc.UUCP (Chuck Mosher) (06/21/85)

>The question was why not just take the not-quite-trained kid to the bathroom
>when I go to bed, instead of asking her and then diapering if she doesn't
>respond.
>
>The answer:  it's pretty hard to get her to wake up enough to pee (unless she
>is already awake enough to tell me she wants to go) without setting off a
>crying spell.
>

We have had this problem with 2 of our three boys.  With Todd (the oldest, now
11 yrs old) we thought he HAD to pee at night, since he would definately wet
the bed if he didn't.  We (I am ashamed to say) _forced_ him to pee just
before we went to bed (after he had been asleep about two or three hours).
He would sometimes cooperate, but usually it turned into a screaming nightmare.
Part of our urgency about the matter was that if he peed it soaked the
mattress (we didn't know about plastic sheets!!).  Also we lived in an apt at
the time and had to do all our laundry at a laundromat.  When we moved into
our house we 1) got him a new mattress, 2) got plastic sheets to go under the
regular ones, 3) stopped bothering him.  It took about a _year_ for him to
be able to get up by himself (he was now about 6).  He has had intermittant
trouble ever since although it has almost completely disappeared.  We are
sure it is because of the awful associations acquired when he was little.

As a contrast, our 2 1/2 year old Trannon started staying dry all through the
night about 4 months ago.  After a month of a totally dry diaper in the
morning we stopped putting them on him at night.  Since then he has had ONE
accident!  A month ago he TOTALLY astonished us by getting up by himself
in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, then put himself back to
bed!  I think this is probably the exception, however.

Shad, our 4 yr old is probably more typical.  He sometimes stays dry but
more often wets at night.  We did not want to repeat the experience we
had with Todd so we have not even tried to take him at night unless he
is totally awake (which is virtually never).  We put a diaper on him at
night, and don't worry about it.  He will eventually grow out of it and
we are willing to wait.  We occaisionally remind him that when he goes
for a while without wetting he doesn't have to wear it anymore, but we
try not to push it.

>Anyone else have young kids (under 3) who are very unhappy when woken up
>before they want to be?  Joellen is particularly unhappy when she's been
>asleep for less than an hour (i.e., fell asleep in the car) and cries without
>undertanding why.  I feel sure it's not a "voluntary" fit of crying - she
>starts crying before she's fully awake and can cry for 10 to 15 mintues before
>getting herself under control.
>
>This behavior has lessened as she gets older, so I wonder if it's some kind of
>age dependent thing.

It is definately an age-dependent thing and they will grow out of it.  Also
you are right when you say it is not voluntary, they cannot help themselves.

I hope I have been of some help.  Parenting is the most challenging job I
could ever imagine, and you have to do it all on the job!  Good luck.

					Chuck Mosher
					UNC-Chapel Hill
					!decvax!mcnc!unc!cm