gregbo@houxm.UUCP (Greg Skinner) (06/09/85)
>> While it's true that intelligence may be more highly valued among many >> adults, it's also true that the kids at the fringes of the group (both ends >> of the normal curve) often get treated rather shabbily. > The only difference between someone who suffered this kind > of ostracism and those who didn't is that it takes my kind longer to "grow > up". (For example, I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 24. Most > people have their first SO in high school or college). I think adolescents > are extremely cruel, primarily because they have not yet learned to see the > world through someone else's viewpoint. I had the same experiences when I was in junior high and high school. I was not only smarter than most of the kids (junior high) but I wore thick glasses which made me look like a nerd. I was teased a lot and I was miserable and started seeing myself as they saw me, instead of appreciating myself. When I got to high school things got better because I was around other smart kids, but I still wasn't over being teased. I was still emotionally scarred, which led to shyness which is still with me to some degree today (for example, I get nervous when I have to say something in front of a group). Does anyone have any ideas why adolescents treat each other so cruelly? Has anyone done a study on it? I think it would make a good study in child psychology. > But I often get the "last laugh" on the jocks who seemed to get such a kick > out of making my life miserable in those days. Most of them are married (or > divorced), and have kids and other heavy responsibilities, and do not seem to > be as happy with their lives as I am with mine. A lot of the people who teased me back in junior high don't have such well pay- ing jobs as mine, or are not even working, so I can say the same. Some of them even have kids they don't want. -- It's like a jungle sometimes, it makes we wonder how I keep from goin' under. Greg Skinner (gregbo) {allegra,cbosgd,ihnp4}!houxm!gregbo gregbo%houxm.uucp@harvard.arpa
rws@gypsy.UUCP (06/10/85)
The usual reason for such teasing, I am told by a psychologist, is insecurity. That is, the teaser is feeling small, insignificant, or insecure, and must do something to make himself feel better than SOMEBODY. So if he can make someone else feel bad, he has control over the situation, and feels better.
steven@luke.UUCP (Steven List) (06/13/85)
In article <1270@houxm.UUCP> gregbo@houxm.UUCP (Greg Skinner) writes:
"
I had the same experiences when I was in junior high and high school. I was not
only smarter than most of the kids (junior high) but I wore thick glasses which
made me look like a nerd. I was teased a lot and I was miserable and started
...Does anyone have any ideas why
adolescents treat each other so cruelly? Has anyone done a study on it? I
think it would make a good study in child psychology.
"
This does sound a bit self-indulgent and self-pitying.
Attributing your troubles to intelligence seems to be stretching things
more than a little. I too had my problems in school, but I hesitate to
attribute them to my intelligence. Maybe to being an out-and-out
smartass! And maybe that was because I KNEW I was so bloody smart.
Adolescents are cruel. There doesn't have to be a reason. As a matter
of fact, I believe it's related to power, pecking order, and an immature
means of improving one's self image (aka ADOLESCENT!). The demeaning
and degradation of others makes them lower than the one doing it.
Therefore that person is better. Logical, no? Yes, to an insecure and
unsure adolescent. Their whole life is an eggshell. Sexuality,
responsibility, pubescence, socialization... GAD, it's a wonder any of
us ever survive. The trick is to manage not to be too cruel, not to let
the others drive you under, and still manage to develop some semblance
of normalcy.
Check any normal group of adolescents. If a particular GROUP is normal
height, then anyone too short or too tall is ostracized. If they're
jocks, the `wimps' and `nerds' are ostracized. If they're precocious,
don't be a virgin. It goes on and on. They all want to belong and to
be better than SOMEone else.
And, y'know what? It doesn't stop when we grow up. We just get more
sophisticated. And clever.
Most of us, that is.
--
***
* Steven List @ Benetics Corporation * (415) 940-6300
* {cdp,greipa,idi,oliveb,sun,tolerant}!bene!luke!steven
***dubois@uwmacc.UUCP (Paul DuBois) (06/27/85)
> > The usual reason for such teasing, I am told by a psychologist, is > insecurity. That is, the teaser is feeling small, insignificant, or > insecure, and must do something to make himself feel better than SOMEBODY. > So if he can make someone else feel bad, he has control over the situation, > and feels better. A logical implication, then, is that by making sure our children are secure, we help everybody else out as well. Not bad! -- | Paul DuBois {allegra,ihnp4,seismo}!uwvax!uwmacc!dubois --+-- | |