myers@utcsri.UUCP (Brad A. Myers) (06/24/85)
Hi all, My wife and I are about to have our first baby and want the worlds (?) opinion on this topic. We've gotten used to sleeping without anything on (i.e. nude). Is this acceptable with kids? We plan to wear things to wander about the house, but I understand kids will come into their parent's room uninvited. Also, I read that kids get embarrassed by seeing parents nude. Any comments? Brad Myers P.S. I think this news group gets more helpful and reasonable discussion than any of the others (ignoring the seat belt msgs).
sed408@ihlpg.UUCP (s. dugan) (06/26/85)
> We've gotten used to sleeping without anything on > (i.e. nude). Is this acceptable with kids? We plan to wear things to > wander about the house, but I understand kids will come into their parent's > room uninvited. Also, I read that kids get embarrassed by seeing parents > nude. > > Brad Myers It seems to me that you have several choices. First, since the baby isn't even born yet, you'll still have a lot of time to do whatever you want before he/she/it starts toddling into your room at night. As for having your kids see you naked, I think many people have various opinions on this subject ranging from ABSOLUTELY NEVER, FROM BIRTH TO DEATH. Others (myself included) tend to be a little more reasonable. Some think that it's not bad for kids to see the parent of the same sex, but probably shouldn't see the parent of the opposite sex. THat's the way it was in my home when I was growing up. I guess I've carried that on with my daughter. As for kids coming in in the middle of the night, you can either wear jammies or else make it so that the kids can't get in without some warning. I have a bell rigged up in my daughter's door-way so that if she comes out I'll know about it. This is partially so she doesn't catch us in the middle of various activities and partially because she has a tendency to wander around the apartment in her sleep. I'm not sure it's the perfect solution, but it works for us. Good luck with what you decide. -- Sarah E. Dugan "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince." ########################################################################### # AT&T Bell Labs IH 1D-408 The Forest (home) # # Naperville-Wheaton Rd. 1353 Crab Apple Court Apt. 101 # # Naperville, Illinois 60566 Naperville, Illinois 60540 # # (312) 979 - 5545 (312) 355 - 0445 # ###########################################################################
tron@fluke.UUCP (Peter Barbee) (06/28/85)
[please pull the soapbox over here, thanks] I don't think kids get embarrassed by seeing their parents nude. I think our parents (generalized) got embarassed when their kids saw them nude and made the story up. We have always been very open with our daughter, to the point of allowing her to wander into the bathroom when one of us is using it, and she is now (age 4 1/2) very comfortable with her body and ours. I will admit that I had to overide some social conditioning to act comfortable as she pointed at my penis and wanted to know what it was and why I had one. My discomfort continued when she wanted to know what it felt like. I overcame that minor embarrassement which now allows easy openess and very little self-consciencness. It may be that I am more open than many people however, I now live in a shared household (I'm divorced) and still sleep in the nude. It is also interesting to note that Katie is developing more modesty, I chalk it up to the unfortunate lessons that the daycare must teach her concerning strangers and child-molesting etc. I also think our daycare probably feeds them a bit of guilt about their bodies but it doesn't appear to be too much. Take care, Peter B
todd@SCIRTP.UUCP (Todd Jones) (06/28/85)
> Hi all, > My wife and I are about to have our first baby and want the worlds (?) > opinion on this topic. We've gotten used to sleeping without anything on > (i.e. nude). Is this acceptable with kids? We plan to wear things to > wander about the house, but I understand kids will come into their parent's > room uninvited. Also, I read that kids get embarrassed by seeing parents > nude. > > > Brad Myers Living in the south, and being stingy with air conditioning, My wife and I often sleep nude. Being the parents of a one year old and a four year old, we often allow them to sleep with us from, say 5:30 a.m. on, rather than have them scream us awake. My experience has shown me a couple of interesting things: Parental fears of rolling over while sleeping and smothering their kids are so ingrained that, even while sleeping, parents avoid excessive movement. This tendency is so extreme that parents gradually move to the farthest edges of the bed while junior gets to spread out. Result: junior gets a marvelous rest while mom and dad feel like they've travelled cross country in the back seat of a compact car. Junior, on the other hand, thinks nothing of thrashing about in mom and dad's bed to achieve maximum comfort. During this thrashing, junior's feet inevitably find dad's "tender aone" and cause dad to rudely awaken. Dad soon learns to sleep on his side when junior is in bed, to avoid gonad-battering. The issue of mom and dad being naked is, to our four year old, rather silly, but he doesn't find it embarassing. He defines the nudity by the nudist: mom and dad are fine in the nude, but other people naked are unnacceptable. He feels fine in the nude, if mom and dad are the only observers, otherwise he gets severly embarassed. I guess he is learning about privacy and exercising his rights to privacy. My experience indicates it's fine to let your kids sleep with you, even if you sleep nude. But, I finally put my foot down when I realized my sleep was getting severely compromised. Now our kids get in bed with us from 5:30 to 6:30 a.m. and we wake up together. This way we have familial closeness and the kids still learn to sleep by themselves. Remember however, as a parent you are no longer entitled to normal sleep habits for several years :-). ||||| || || [ O-O ] Todd Jones \ ^ / {decvax,akgua}!mcnc!rti-sel!scirtp!todd | _ | |___|
mark@tove.UUCP (Mark Weiser) (06/29/85)
In article <1201@utcsri.UUCP> myers@utcsri.UUCP (Brad A. Myers) writes: >Hi all, >My wife and I are about to have our first baby and want the worlds (?) >opinion on this topic. We've gotten used to sleeping without anything on >(i.e. nude). Is this acceptable with kids? We plan to wear things to >wander about the house, but I understand kids will come into their parent's >room uninvited. Also, I read that kids get embarrassed by seeing parents >nude. We found that our first child started being embarrased about seeing us about the same time she got embarrased about us seeing her. This was about age 7. It was never very serious, just a slight aversion on her part (which still continues, she is 8 now). Both children (the younger is now 4) at earlier ages couldn't wait to get home from school and tear all or most of their clothes off. So, I would proceed to dress (or undress) as you always have. They'll adjust and be none the worse for it. -mark -- Spoken: Mark Weiser ARPA: mark@maryland Phone: +1-301-454-7817 CSNet: mark@umcp-cs UUCP: {seismo,allegra}!umcp-cs!mark USPS: Computer Science Dept., University of Maryland, College Park, MD 20742
steven@luke.UUCP (Steven List) (06/30/85)
In article <711@ihlpg.UUCP> sed408@ihlpg.UUCP (s. dugan) writes: >> We've gotten used to sleeping without anything on >> (i.e. nude). Is this acceptable with kids? >> Brad Myers >As for having your kids >see you naked, I think many people have various opinions on this subject >ranging from ABSOLUTELY NEVER, FROM BIRTH TO DEATH. Others (myself included) >tend to be a little more reasonable. Some think that it's not bad for kids to >see the parent of the same sex, but probably shouldn't see the parent of the >opposite sex. THat's the way it was in my home when I was growing up. I >guess I've carried that on with my daughter. >Sarah E. Dugan Isn't it wonderful that, no matter what your question, someone out here has an opinion to suit you? For myself (and my wife) nudity has never been a problem. Our children (Sarah/4 and Matthew/2) have seen both of us naked from (their) birth. When Sarah was small she took baths with her mother. When she got a little older, she started taking showers with me. We've both agreed that Sarah will be the one to determine when things change. When she gets uncomfortable or awkward, we'll change. The same is true of Matthew. He has taken showers and/or baths with each of us. We tend to wander around nude (except when we have company) without any concern. My feeling is that if no special emphasis is placed on nudity or its relationship to sexuality, our children will grow without any biases. They will have the freedom to form their own rules and feelings, without pressure from us. They certainly have no qualms about running around naked themselves (first thing in the door - SHAZAM - nudidity!). As for them coming in during... When Sarah was small, she would frequently end up in our bed in the early morning. We found that if we didn't make a big deal of it ("Turn your eyes, sweetheart, Mommy and Daddy want to scratch each others' backs."), she would just fall asleep even WITH all the activity. When Matthew was born, Sarah was too old to permit us the same freedom. All in all, you have to do what feels comfortable to YOU. Your child will, of course, be influenced. But if you are uncomfortable it doesn't matter what you do, your child will be affected by your discomfort. -- *** * Steven List @ Benetics Corporation, Mt. View, CA * Just part of the stock at "Uncle Bene's Farm" * {cdp,greipa,idi,oliveb,sun,tolerant}!bene!luke!steven ***
collinge@uvicctr.UUCP (Doug Collinge) (07/02/85)
Why would anyone care whether a child sees either parent without clothes? Certainly the child won't - people wear all kinds of clothes, including no clothes. Why would a child make any distinction? A body is just a person to a child. -- Doug Collinge School of Music, University of Victoria, PO Box 1700, Victoria, B.C., Canada, V8W 2Y2 decvax!nrl-css!uvicctr!collinge decvax!uw-beaver!uvicctr!collinge ubc-vision!uvicctr!collinge