regard@ttidcc.UUCP (Adrienne Regard) (08/06/85)
Re the discussion Steven started about siblings at birth of siblings: Some of us are just plain selfish, and I for one am willing to admit it. Being at the birth of her sibling may be a wonderful experience for my seven year old, and may answer scads of questions for her BUT -- I am not going to undertake to "behave well" at the second birth in order not to frighten her, and I haven't hours of time to do preparation with her so that I can behave as I want at the time. Similarly, I have no desire to have video or still pictures taken. Actually, I have little desire to have the father present because there isn't much he can do to help me get the job done besides worry, which is unnecessary (and would bug me). I've agreed to his presence with the caveat that if he begins to interfere with MY way of delivering, out he goes. (He's a good guy. I'm sure it will work out fine). He may be the father, but he's not the active party and some jobs ya just gotta do your own way. Some people work well as a part of a team, some are just too individualistic to take coaching. Anyhow, re the kid's presence, there are plenty of things that would be good for my daughter -- sailing, horsebackriding, piano lessons and gym come to mind. Some I can do now, some I can't do/afford/etc., now. Childbirth experience is something that would cost ME more than it would benefit HER (yep, my judgement call, and I could easily be wrong. It ain't easy being a parent). One opinion, which I am sure is not shared by all. No flames necessary, now my disclaimer is in place.
wjt@hound.UUCP (Bill Taggart) (08/09/85)
In article <640@ttidcc.UUCP> regard@ttidcc.UUCP (Adrienne Regard) writes: > >Some of us are just plain selfish, and I for one am willing to admit it. >... >He may be the father, but he's not the active party and some jobs ya >just gotta do your own way. Gee, wasn't your husband an active party at the child's conception. It is a shame that some people are so selfish and self centered that they can't share one of life's most precious moments -- the birth of a new child. My wife is due in early September and we have already started preparing our four year old daughter so she can participate. She has helped us in preparing a new room for the baby and has even given up some of her toys so that the baby will have something to play with (she doesn't realize that her toys are inappropriate, but it's the thought that counts). The hospital has a two hour program for siblings that plan to participate that my daughter will attend next week. Our doctor welcomes my daughter's presence. The hospital only requires another adult be present to monitor the child, this role will be filled by my wife's mother who is very excited about it. Maybe my wife's and my desire to have the whole family participate is considered out-of-step with the 'me' generation ... but that's their problem, not mine. -- Bill Taggart ...ihnp4!houxm!hound!wjt
sed408@ihlpg.UUCP (s. dugan) (08/09/85)
I think it's wonderful that people are letting their older children share in the birth of the younger children. I should think that, handled properly, this experience would greatly improve the older sibling's understanding of the new child. It would also help the older child feel like part of the event instead of leaving him/her feeling left out. It also seems that this would help reduce the chance of jealousy. I'm all for it! -- Sarah E. Dugan "Thank God It's Friday." ########################################################################### # AT&T Bell Labs IH 1D-408 The Forest (home) # # Naperville-Wheaton Rd. 1353 Crab Apple Court Apt. 101 # # Naperville, Illinois 60566 Naperville, Illinois 60540 # # (312) 979 - 5545 (312) 355 - 0445 # ###########################################################################
pking@uiucuxc.Uiuc.ARPA (08/14/85)
WHen our last child was born some four years ago, our older children were six and four. At that time the concept of siblings being present at delivery's was fairly new in our area. my husband and i talked about it and then our oldest,(a boy) and his father watched a pbs program on childbirth. our son was very upset by the program and the idea that there was going to be pain for me in order to get his new sister. I spent a great deal of time after that consoling him and talking to him about what was going on, and the idea of the pain I was going to experience. After that he attended a class given by the hospital where I was delivering for siblings but still seemed distressed, his point being he hated to see me in any kind of pain. Needless to say he didn't witness the delivery, nor did our younger child. It is not a decision I regret. Our older children are and were from the time she came home from the hospital very involved in their sister's life, and have enjoyed her very much. Currently I still have very large doubts about the wisdom of allowing siblings to watch the birth, but what is right for me and mine may not be for others.