martin@cornell.UUCP (Susan Martin) (09/06/85)
Just thought I'd let everyone know that I went to the doctor yesterday and listened to the baby's heartbeat for the first time! It was really exciting and although I knew the baby was in there, it seemed to reconfirm it for me. Things are still on shaky ground with the baby's father. Every time I mention money (or the lack of it), he says it's my own fault that I'm already in debt and am going to be even more so once the baby arrives. When I tell him he really should be thinking of ways to help out, he says he's got his own bills to pay, to which I reply, then don't expect to come around here acting like the father when you're not any help. I thought that was a good come-back, but his was better, "Well, then, I'll just take the baby away and you'll never see him (her) again!" Now I don't mean to over-react, but this really upset me! Things are bad enough without being threatened by some guy who tells you he loves you in one breath and in the next tells you he's going to steal the baby in the dead of night! I have finally resigned myself to the fact that he and I will never become Mr. and Mrs. His parents haven't, they think everything is peachy-keen and that he will come around before too much longer. My parents pray that I never marry him since they don't consider him "good enough for me". (Isn't that always the case?) Thank goodness for my friends and family and the people who have sent me mail and responses with their excellent advice and kind words. I tried to write back to all of you, and when your messages came in the form of mail I just used the "R" key, but some got kicked back to me anyway. I also made the mistake of deleting the messages after I wrote back, but will never be that foolish again. I feel better having written again, and am really not worried about these things. I know now from all your previous responses that I need not marry someone that I'd rather not, just to get financial support for the baby. These things will work themselves out. And unless this guy undergoes a drastic change in personality in the next few months, his first-born child will not know him as well as he might like. I realize I'm on dangerous ground here, this could turn into a fighting match using the baby as a weapon; something I never want to do. We'll see. I know I do have certain rights in a case such as this. Too bad that a more loving, caring relation- ship hasn't evolved from this situation. Best wishes to all, I'll let you know when the baby starts kicking touchdowns inside me! SAM a.k.a. Susan Annette Martin