[net.kids] Making room when baby makes three

peggy@ism70.UUCP (11/07/85)

I am interested in any comments or suggestions that readers of net.kids have
about living in a 1 bedroom home with a newborn.  Has anyone out there tried
it?  My husband and I are expecting our first child in May.  We are living
in a very large one bedroom duplex in one of our favorite parts of town and
the rent for a unit with an additional room would be between 1-1/2 and 2
times what we currently pay.  At this time we'd be able to barely slide by
with the extra rent, but that's not counting the extra expenses that the
baby will bring.  We plan to be able to move sometime before our baby's
first Christmas but, in the meantime, we would like to stay where we are.
We had originally considered some sort of temporary construction work that
would create a room for either the baby or for us, but now we're thinking
that it really isn't necessary.  Now, we're starting to consider either
sharing our room with the baby, moving the baby into the living room (it's
about three times the size of our bedroom), or putting the baby in our room
and moving our bedroom into the living room in some sort of creative way
(beats me how just yet, but I'm sure we could think of something).  I can't
imagine that sharing our room with our baby would be that difficult for six
months (maybe it's the maternal instincts that I've been feeling so strongly
lately, but right now I think I'd love to share our room with our baby), but
some of the people who we've talked to feel very strongly about us having a
private space available where we can be by ourselves when we need to be.
Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.  We have no idea what to
expect...

mark@tove.UUCP (Mark Weiser) (11/19/85)

In article <17700003@ism70.UUCP> peggy@ism70.UUCP writes:
>
>I am interested in any comments or suggestions that readers of net.kids have
>about living in a 1 bedroom home with a newborn.  Has anyone out there tried
>it?  

Yes.  As I've said before on this list, our kids sleep with us until they
ask for their own room/bed.  For our first child this was a necessity
as there was no other room.  For us it has worked fine.
	-mark
-- 
Spoken: Mark Weiser 	ARPA:	mark@maryland	Phone: +1-301-454-7817
CSNet:	mark@umcp-cs 	UUCP:	{seismo,allegra}!umcp-cs!mark
USPS: Computer Science Dept., University of Maryland, College Park, MD 20742

suze@terak.UUCP (Suzanne Barnett) (11/20/85)

> 
> I am interested in any comments or suggestions that readers of net.kids have
> about living in a 1 bedroom home with a newborn.  Has anyone out there tried
> it?  My husband and I are expecting our first child in May.  We are living
>...
This is not from experience, but rather things I know from
places I've lived, and what to me seems common sense.

> that it really isn't necessary.  Now, we're starting to consider either
> sharing our room with the baby, moving the baby into the living room (it's
> ...
In Europe (or at least Germany and Italy) babies sleep with their
parents (in the same bed) until they are large enough to have their
own bed. It is virtually impossible to get a hotel with a crib
because of this.

> I can't
> imagine that sharing our room with our baby would be that difficult for six
> months (maybe it's the maternal instincts that I've been feeling so strongly
> lately, but right now I think I'd love to share our room with our baby), but
> some of the people who we've talked to feel very strongly about us having a
> private space available where we can be by ourselves when we need to be.
> Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.  We have no idea what to
> expect...
Do what YOU feel comfortable with. I would think it very
convenient, especially while the baby is not yet sleeping
through the night to have it in the same room. Easier to hear
crying or other wakeup noises, less stumbling around to get to
the baby, etc. On the other hand, having the baby that close
could disturb your rest when it needn't be disturbed or
interfere with your romantic relationship with your spouse. (I
say romantic because I mean more than just sexual.)

You might try one arrangement and have it work fine the entire
time you remain in your current home. Or you might try one
arrangement and not like it at all after a day or two. Or you
might find that several different arrangements can be used at
different times during the baby's first few months.

If you want a separate area for the baby (in whichever room)
you might purchase or make (if you have access to some
woodworking tools) one or two inexpensive room dividers.
-- 
**************************************************************
Suzanne Barnett-Scott

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	 14151 N 76th street, Scottsdale, AZ 85260

rdm2@nvuxr.UUCP (R McBurnett) (11/21/85)

I strongly recommend working out some seperate rooming arrangements. 
While some babys will sleep through *ANYTHING* others will wake up at
the slightest noise, and others will vary from sleeping through to waking
up with out warning.

The reason that I make this recommendation is that during the 1st 6
months babys make demands on their parents at all times of the night
(and day :-).  Parents thus want to get as much sleep as possible.

Another consideration is that all people make noises in their sleep,
babys are no exception.  If you are a very light sleeper, or are overly
concerned about these noises (most new parents are.... I was ) they
prevent a good night's sleep.  If the baby really wants you or has a
real problem, don't worry you will be the 1st to know.

Having a crib in the living room would not be such a bad idea.  The baby
could then play in the crib (like in a play pen) in an area where you
spend much of your time.

Good luck and congratulations in advance

Roe D McBurnett,  Bell Comunications Research	  |these are my own
201 758 2333		ihnp4!packard!nvuxr!rdm2  |rantings not Bellcore's

cooper@steinmetz.UUCP (Clark Cooper) (11/21/85)

In article <17700003@ism70.UUCP> peggy@ism70.UUCP writes:
>
>I am interested in any comments or suggestions that readers of net.kids have
>about living in a 1 bedroom home with a newborn. ... I can't
>imagine that sharing our room with our baby would be that difficult for six
>months ...

We have three kids. Our youngest, who is now 16 months, stayed in our bedroom
for her first 6 months (approximately). We didn't want to rearrange our two
year old's room right away and we were worried that the baby would wake her
up. We didn't want to have to handle two bawling children at night!

Any way, I think it worked out fairly well. It was easy to get to her when
she had a problem at night. Privacy isn't a problem for this young a child.
After all, they can't sit up and stare at you at this age. Besides, the
real loss of privacy brought on by a baby will happen no matter where they
sleep.
-- 
Clark Cooper |UUCP: seismo!rpics!steinmetz!cooper
             |ARPA: coopercc@ge-crd

steve@loral.UUCP (Stephen Newbegin) (11/22/85)

Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Making room when baby makes three
Summary: Let baby stay
Expires: 11/22/85
References: <17700003@ism70.UUCP>
Sender: steve@loral.UUCP (Steve Newbegin)
Reply-To: steve@loral.UUCP (Stephen Newbegin)
Followup-To: 
Distribution: na
Organization: Loral Instrumentation, San Diego
Keywords: room for baby

In article <17700003@ism70.UUCP> peggy@ism70.UUCP writes:
>
>I am interested in any comments or suggestions that readers of net.kids have
>about living in a 1 bedroom home with a newborn.  Has anyone out there tried
>it?  

     In regards to the legitimacy of having your new born in the one
     bedroom with you and your mate, my response will in all like-
     lihood generate a fair amount of flaming and disapproval. Go
     against the herd and have your baby stay with you in the same
     bedroom. Better yet why not the same bed? Don't worry, you won't
     squash the precious person. Imagine the HORROR that dawns upon the
     small awareness of a new born infant upon awakening in the cold dark
     chamber of its bedroom in its prison barred crib all alone after so
     recently secure in the warm,moist,pleasent womb of its mother with
     the sound of her heart and the presence of her LOVE. FLUSH the modern
     sacred value of privacy down the CULTURAL TOLIET where it came with
     all it "selfishness". If your concerned about SEX, the bedroom isn't
     too original. :-)  Leave it for sleeping and having fun with your
     new member of your family.  Better sill, if you nurse(highly recommended),
     you will find that all those trying curses of modern parenthood
     disappear such as lack of sleep,crying,formulas,up at all hours,etc.
	  What joy you will also discover waking up with this new person
     in the bright early morning with its happy,heart-melting smile and
     clear shining eyes. Who can be grumpy in the morning with that?
	  More importantly, the "MYSTERIOUS" crib death always occurs
     when the fragile little human is left alone sleeping; while it never
     occurs when the little baby is sleeping near those massive,warm,loving
     and protective life forms which are its parents.
	  I have both a boy(now five) and a girl(two) which stayed in our
     bedroom with both myself and my wife. Both children are happy,well
     adjusted,no problems and along with good diet have never needed to see
     a doctor. Pediatricians, get in the unemployment line.:-)
	  Gee, its only six months out of your whole life. Have fun!!!




-------------------------------
	     Steve Newbegin   Loral Instrumentation   San Diego

    sdcc6 ---\     gould9 --\
    ihnp4 ---->-->!sdcc3 ---->--->!loral!steve  (uucp)
    sdcrdcf -/     sdcsvax -/

"All can know good as good only because there is evil" -- Lao Tsu
"God created pain and grief for this purpose, to wit,to manifest
happiness." -- Rumi

-- 


-------------------------------
	     Steve Newbegin   Loral Instrumentation   San Diego

    sdcc6 ---\     gould9 --\
    ihnp4 ---->-->!sdcc3 ---->--->!loral!steve  (uucp)
    sdcrdcf -/     sdcsvax -/

"All can know good as good only because there is evil" -- Lao Tsu
"God created pain and grief for this purpose, to wit,to manifest
happiness." -- Rumi

charliem@athena.UUCP (Charlie Mills) (11/24/85)

>I strongly recommend working out some seperate rooming arrangements. 

Both our children sleep in our bed (which is large), and I recommend
this arrangement.

>While some babys will sleep through *ANYTHING* others will wake up at
>the slightest noise, and others will vary from sleeping through to waking
>up with out warning.
>
>The reason that I make this recommendation is that during the 1st 6
>months babys make demands on their parents at all times of the night
>(and day :-).  Parents thus want to get as much sleep as possible.

We find that it is much easier to fall right back to sleep after (or
while) attending to the crying baby, if all you have to do is roll over
and nurse the baby, rather than get out of bed, turn on a light, etc.,
etc.

>Having a crib in the living room would not be such a bad idea.  The baby
>could then play in the crib (like in a play pen) in an area where you
>spend much of your time.

But I thought you said some babies wake at the slightest noise...

	-- Charlie Mills
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