zonker@ihlpf.UUCP (Tom Harris) (02/18/86)
> It is my view (having never been spanked, and having grown into a fairly > reasonable person who would NEVER spank my own child), that > > 1. spanking = child abuse. Period. > 2. it may produce immediate "results" but the long-term costs out-weigh > any short term benifiefits. > 3. I hope "spankers" send their "justifications" to the author of the > original article via email--though it might provide interesting reading > (depressing too) to see why intelligent adults think they should smack > their kids around (or their spouse around... ). No smiley here. > I don't know what makes Richard think he has become a "fairly reasonable adult" when his article is so unreasonable (not to mention insulting). If you've never been spanked how the hell can you make a decision as whether it has a long term cost or a long tem benefit? I was spanked as a kid (not frequently, but when I deserved it). Frankly, I think it helped me gain self discipline. It taught me how to weigh the cost of an action vs the benefits I would receive from doing the action. I spank my child, there are times when it is neccessary. I don't spank her to get "results"; I spank her when the long term benifits outweigh the short term costs (and it costs to spank someone you love). I don't spank her for just any infraction or because I am mad (that would be child abuse). Before she could talk, she was spanked when she got into a potentially dangerous situation i.e. playing with electric cords etc.; this made sure she wouldn't do it again. Currently she gets spanked mostly when my not spanking her would cause greater damage than my spanking her. For example, playing with electric plugs, dangerous chemicals (Note: we have done what we can to prevent her from getting access to these, but children are as smart as we are and it rarely takes that much to figure out most locks), crossing the street without looking both ways first, etc. What is the cost of a spanking next to a child's death? There are also several things which my wife and I can not or will not tolerate although they do not directly endanger my daughter. One example is writting in books; another would be direct disobediance of a direct order. Spanking is a last resort and only done when verbal warnings have not worked and when she knows better. My daughter is currently averaging about 2 spankings a year. She is very self disciplined and even though all her neighborhood friends are older and larger than her she is not a follower but an equal. Tally Ho, Tom H.
twb@hoqax.UUCP (BEATTIE) (02/19/86)
While I don't think an occasional spanking is particularly harmful, I also don't think it is necessary. I feel a child can understand your disaproval of their behavior thru your tone of voice (even if they are too young to understand all the words). Spanking is NOT education - it is punishment. > Currently she gets spanked mostly when my not spanking her would > cause greater damage than my spanking her. > Tally Ho, > Tom H. This contorted argument just shows that Tom H. must be able to teach his child acceptable behavior (in non life-threatening situations) WITHOUT spanking. --- Tom. ...!{ihnp4 | hou2g | allegra | ulysses}!hoqax!twb P.S. For what it's worth I was spanked (occasionally) as a child.
jeanette@randvax.UUCP (Jeanette Haritan) (02/24/86)
In article <239@hoqax.UUCP> twb@hoqax.UUCP (BEATTIE) writes: >While I don't think an occasional spanking is particularly >harmful, I also don't think it is necessary. >I feel a child can understand your disaproval of their behavior >thru your tone of voice (even if they are too young to understand >all the words). >Spanking is NOT education - it is punishment. > True, but pretty soon the child realizes that the tone of voice is just mommy and/or daddy spouting off again.:-) I really believe that a spanking will benefit more, simply because it stings more, and the child doesn't become bored with the discipline, for example, you can yell 'till you're blue in the face, and (I've had it happen) the child develops a smug look (thar she blows!). He's BORED! He knows that that is the worst it will get. When I whack his buns, HE KNOWS "hey...I think I blew it!). jlh