colonel@gloria.UUCP (George Sicherman) (12/29/84)
Meet "Marshmallow Fluff!" She's an obese old woman with a pasty com- plexion, who makes her living inventing new "concept characters" for greeting card companies. Sakes alive, I've been in this business longer than just about anybody! What's that? Yes, longer even than Strawberry Shortcake, who is a blatant ripoff of my (rejected) "Tom Soya & Huckleberry Fishcake" idea. What? Of COURSE I've been around longer than Holly Hobbie. They stole that one from my idea for "Humpback Hobbly and her camel Wobbly," which I almost sold to General Mills. But what pisses me off the most (pardon my French) is those Rainbow Brite brats. Back in '59 I had a cute little big-eyed girl called "Rainbarrel"--see, that was all she wore was a rain barrel, and she had this six-legged horse named Beetlebomb that she GET AWAY FROM THOSE DOUGHNUTS YOU LITTLE PIG BEFORE I That's my boy over there, name's Pumpkin Pie GET BACK UPSTAIRS AND FINISH THOSE BIRTHDAY CARD GREETINGS OR I'LL BASH YOU TILL YOU BUST OPEN Hallmark wouldn't even look at him. Said they couldn't use a fat kid with an orange face, no market potential and too ugly. Now you look at them Cabbage Patch dolls and tell me he's too ugly. He had a dog named Stuffing once, and I had the idea for selling cards with a damp spot and they would make it look like the dog peed on it, now that was a really clever idea if I say so myself. But them old farts at American Greetings said 'twas too much trouble, and then he got the mange and we had to put him to sleep. You're all invited to invent more "Marshmallow Fluff" (T.M.) characters for net.misc. If this thing takes off we might even get our own Saturday morning cartoon show. -- Col. G. L. Sicherman ...seismo!rochester!rocksanne!rocksvax!sunybcs!gloria!colonel