arnold@gatech.CSNET (Arnold Robbins) (04/03/85)
[DISCLAIMER: The opinions below have nothing to do with the School of
Information and Computer Science at Georgia Tech. I am posting this
on my own. Satisfied Gene?]
Here is the list of uses for a new (or old) Pr1me computer. Didn't quite
make it to 101. Oh well.
The suggestions came from many places, but to keep anyone from getting in
trouble, I am not including their names.
So without further ado, here are
*** 26 Uses For a New Pr1me Computer ***
1. Boat Anchor.
2. Gravity Tester (drop it off the Leaning Tower of Piza).
3. Nut Cracker by the bushel (drop it just a few feet).
4. Substitute for the VAX intercepted on its way to the Soviet Union.
5. Door stop.
6. A calculator for people who find HP calculators too fast.
7. An antique showcase of what Fortran was like in 1969.
8. A present to tribes of bushmen in New Guinea, so they won't feel so
primitive when comparing their tools to the present civilization's
technology.
9. A profit generating tool for local electric companies. They can give
them free to customers, who will plug them in and waste immense amounts
of electricity on puny jobs.
10. PR1ME Pascal: an incentive to introductory computer science students to
learn Modula-2 or C. Or even Fortran-77...
11. Target for the traininig exercises of a nuclear weapons delivery system.
12. It might be as dangerous as a VAX if you dropped it from an airplane (bomb).
13. Send it to me. (I could always use it as A PC) [From: xxx@yyyyy]
14. A ground for a lightning rod.
15. Ship ballast.
16. Room heater.
17. Artillery target.
18. Attractive addition to your local zoo's "Monkey Island".
19. Fund raiser: Put it outside your building and charge 1
dollar per swing with a 10 lbs. sledge.
20. Intersection marker on a figure eight race track.
21. Prime is supplying China with virtually all its Superminis. This is
well known. What isn't common knowledge is the use they are put to.
They kidnap programmers from all over the world and force them to
write applications under Primos until they break (it usually takes
2 days) and tell the Chinese what they want to know: Thus we have-
The Chinese Primos Torture
22. A book mark (think you'll ever lose the page with it on top?)
23. Catapault ammo (what do you think they throw in the Data Geneneral
commercial?)
24. Counter-intelligence device (send it to Russian :-))
25. Home computer...
26. Coat it with Teflon and then drop it on Pr1me Corporate.
--
Arnold Robbins
CSNET: arnold@gatech ARPA: arnold%gatech.csnet@csnet-relay.arpa
UUCP: { akgua, allegra, hplabs, ihnp4, seismo, ut-sally }!gatech!arnold
When taking aim at the ball, it helps tremendously to pretend it's a PR1ME...