debenedi@yale-com.UUCP (Robert DeBenedictis) (12/15/83)
Randy Trigg (umcp-cs!randy Mon Dec 12 21:41, Article-Id: umcp-cs.4412)
noted the following in net.singles:
In every close friendship between MOTOS at
least one of the two people at some time
had a physical attraction for the other.
So what do you think? Plumb the depths of your experience. Have
you ever had a *completely* platonic close friendship (i.e. one
that was always platonic for both of you)? I haven't.
I think this is a really neat observation. Might it be the case
that platonic relationships only exist between MOTIS (Members Of
The Inappropriate Sex). Hmmm. What are the combinations of
people that are unlikely to result in ANY sexual tension. Well,
two straight guys, two straight women, and a gay guy and a lesbian.
Hmmm. And then there are some combinations where the "physical
attraction" could only possibly rest on one side of the relationship;
say with a lesbian and a straight guy. Another Big Hmmm. The only
relationships which inherently involve a potential imbalance of
physical attraction are those involving gay people. All this assumes
that the labels 'straight' and 'gay' are a lot more black and white
than they are. How do bisexuals fit into this? Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmmm.
Come on you net.motss'ers!!! Finally a topic that will make for
great dis-interested (:->) philosophical discussions. To me the
implications are really neat. I've always wondered: "How are gays
different from everybody else?" Well, for one, they tend to find
members of their own sex more physically attractive than members of
the other sex. Secondly, they are (apparently) in the minority of
society, 15% at most. And NOW, they are the only ones capable of
entering into relationships that have the potential for being one-
sided with respect to the question "Have you EVER felt ANY physical
attraction towards the other in the relationship?"
"Fascinating," as Mr. Spock would say.
Another Message In The Bottle from
Robert DeBenedictissdyer@bbncca.ARPA (Steve Dyer) (12/17/83)
No, I don't really agree. I have friends whose company I enjoy, and I don't think of them as potential sexual partners (this is different from physical attractiveness.) I think that early on in a relationship, two people try to get synched into each others' expectations. This doesn't always happen, of course. And, I admit that over the course of a relationship this could change. I think that it's probably easier for two gay men to form this platonic bond than it is for a straight man and a woman, simply because there's not the extra tradition of male/female, Tarzan/Jane stuff they have to deal with. -- /Steve Dyer decvax!bbncca!sdyer sdyer@bbncca
johnc@dartvax.UUCP (John Cabell) (12/18/83)
I'm not so sure that it is esier for two men to form a
platonic relationship than for a man and a woman. Whenever
I have moved into ax new town, I have formed a freindship
with a gal(for lack of aa better word for girl/woman/lady)
before I made friends with any men. Maybe I'm just different.
I don't know.
From the Ever-Questioning Mind of
johnc
:->
--
From the Deep dark Dungeon of Cantel,
Theodrick, alias Johnc
:->dave@utcsrgv.UUCP (Dave Sherman) (12/18/83)
I think there are other relationships which can become close but remain
platonic - for social/psychological reasons unrelated to sexual orientation.
A friendship between two people of different religions who are committed
to those religions in a way which precludes relationships (specifically,
marriage) with persons of a different religion, for example. A friendship
between two married people who are committed to their respective spouses
is another example.
Dave Sherman
Toronto
--
{allegra,cornell,decvax,ihnp4,linus,utzoo}!utcsrgv!daveisrael@umcp-cs.UUCP (12/19/83)
From: debenedi@yale-com.UUCP
. . . I've always wondered: "How are gays
different from everybody else?" . . .
. . . And NOW, they are the only ones capable of
entering into relationships that have the potential for being one-
sided with respect to the question "Have you EVER felt ANY physical
attraction towards the other in the relationship?"
What about the situations (gay male, straight female) or (straight
male, gay female)? In these situations it is the straight member of
the relationship that would only feel the physical attraction. So this
analysis isn't valid at all.
--
^-^ Bruce ^-^
University of Maryland, Computer Science
{rlgvax,seismo}!umcp-cs!israel (Usenet) israel.umcp-cs@CSNet-Relay (Arpanet)za16ao@sdccsu3.UUCP (12/19/83)
But this gets complicated. Even among straights, there are
relationships between MOTSS that carry great sexual tension - sometimes
acknowledged, usually not. And a friend of mine, female and non-gay,
has as her best friend a gay male - she doesn't seem to feel any
particular sexual feelings towards him, nor he for her - does that
qualify as platonic? I'd guess so.
--
-=< Lady Arwen >=-
...sdcsvax!sdccsu3!arwen