dyer@wivax.UUCP (Stephen Dyer) (12/19/83)
I believe that there can be close friendships that are completely platonic. I have had at least one very close friendship that was. With the particular person I am thinking of, it never occurs to me to have or add a sexual aspect to our friendship. When we first met, he was very nervous about any kind of physical contact, almost neurotic about it. I found many things in him to like that had no physical component. We have known each other for several years and only recently will we even hug. (Even macho men hug...) My friend and I care about each other very much. We are friends who's caring can be called love! Interestingly I have difficulty saying the phrase "I love you" to him because in my mind it has a sexual component that I don't see in our relationship. I have friends that I love. I have friends that I am sexually attracted to. I am sexually attracted to certain strangers. Often the sexual chemistry makes me get up the courage to meet the strangers I am attracted to and make them my friends. Sex is a big motivator, but not the only one. I have sometimes mistaken acquaintances that I am sexually attracted to for friends. This is known as "not knowing who my friends are". It has had the effect that in situations that try friendships, these acquaintances dissappear leaving me doubly hurting. But, it is a fast and ruthless teacher of the difference between lust and friendship. Nice to see conversation re-starting, "Felix"
hlh@linus.UUCP (Henry L. Hall) (12/24/83)
I agree with "Felix" that sometimes sex (or lust, as the case
may be) can be a motivator for meeting a new person. Is this
possibly a case of the ends, meeting someone, justifying the
means, being physically attracted to a person enough to build
up the necessary courage to actually approach the person. This
is not meant to imply that I only meet people who are physically
attractive to me but when you know nothing else about a person,
what else is there to motivate yourself to go over and meet them?
There are occasions when I have met someone with whom I simply
share a "mind set". This leads to many interseting and varied
conversations. To me, these relationships can be the most
rewarding.
Henry L. Hall
{allegra, cbosgd, decvax, ihnp4} !linus!hlh {UUCP}
linus!hlh@mitre-bedford {MIL}hlh@linus.UUCP (Henry L. Hall) (12/27/83)
I was informed that this article was mangled because of leading
white space at a few sites. My apologises if you've read this before.
I agree with "Felix" that sometimes sex (or lust, as the case
may be) can be a motivator for meeting a new person. Is this
possibly a case of the ends, meeting someone, justifying the
means, being physically attracted to a person enough to build
up the necessary courage to actually approach the person. This
is not meant to imply that I only meet people who are physically
attractive to me but when you know nothing else about a person,
what else is there to motivate yourself to go over and meet them?
There are occasions when I have met someone with whom I simply
share a "mind set". This leads to many interseting and varied
conversations. To me, these relationships can be the most
rewarding.
Henry L. Hall
{allegra, cbosgd, decvax, ihnp4} !linus!hlh {UUCP}
linus!hlh@mitre-bedford {MIL}