wa143@sdcatta.UUCP (01/21/84)
In reaction to all the NAMBLA flaming that's going on, I thought I'd add my two cents worth. I consider myself pretty open-minded, and I believe that two consenting people (regardless of age) should be allowed to do pretty much whatever they want in the privacy of their own homes. Actually, I suppose I'm a bit of an anarchist at heart -- I figure that "live and let live" is great, as long as you don't infringe on someone else's ability to do the same. My objection to NAMBLA thus has little to do with the man/boy interaction. I see NAMBLA as causing a problem to the gay community similar to the Soloman amendment and education. It ties two issues together that really should not be connected. NAMBLA is specifically MAN-BOY. Thus, the issue of homosexuality is brought into the matter of age-of-consent/pederasty/whatever. With homosexuality already disapproved of by society, people see NAMBLA and see primarily the homosexual aspect and the child-molestation aspect. A lot of people think homosexuals go around and molest children. The existance of NAMBLA as a gay oriented group really doesn't help the image much. My objection is that NAMBLA bring a seperate issue into the issue of homosexuality, regardless of what that issue is. [topic switch] Coming out to parents is a topic that fascinates me. I know some incredibly activist gay people who just about introduce themselves as "Hi, I'm so-and-so, gay activist." But they haven't come out to their parents, and some don't plan to. I find that amusing. My parents have always prided themselves on being accepting and liberal. I told them that I was gay, and my mother's reaction was "Oh, I'm probably bi myself, and just haven't found the right woman yet." My father seemed a bit uneasy, but both declare that they accept it completely. After all, I have a gay uncle and a gay aunt, so why SHOULDN'T they accept it? At the same time, I sense that they're really uncomfortable with the situation although they won't admit it. My mother seems to have an air around her of "well, someday you'll meet the right girl..." and my father just expressed great surprise when he found out (via a TV show on PBS!) that gays can have long lasting relationships. Fascinating. He figures for 18 years that, having been raised in a loving etc. environment, of COURSE I'll be able to last 60 years with a wife. But even after he knows I'm gay, he never considers that I, at least, could enter into a gay relationship that lasts longer than a week or two. Anyone know of any good books to recommend to them? I know that the best thing would be to talk to them myself, but I feel rather betrayed by their reluctance to come out and tell me that they're disturbed and don't feel comfortable talking with them about it. Of course, their reluctance COULD BE a figment of my imagination, so who knows? Anyone out there know anything about the origins of homophobia? I recently heard an explanation that claimed it was originally a political maneuver when the ?? (some religious group) was splitting from ?? (some other religious group), and homosexuality had been an accepted part of the first religion in certain rites and so on. It was first looked down upon as a symbol of the original religion, and later became a moral issee. I'm new to this list, so I apologize if I touch on subjects that have already been covered. C'est la via! Take care, "Scouter"
motss@wivax.UUCP (01/29/84)
[I am posting this through a friends account..] Re: NAMBLA & homophobia - no comments, at least not right now. As for coming out to parents, the discussion is, for me, a touchy one. I haven't done this yet, although I suspect my mother has a good idea of what's going on, you know, the motherly instinct. She does seem to look for reassuring facts to prove to herself that I'm not. The situation that I'm in is different from most others, I think, in that I am not the only one of the children who is gay. This makes it especially hard for any of us to 'come-out' to our parents. My mom works with two lesbians, and she used to work with one of our friends, so she has been exposed at least a little bit. I guess the thing that is holding any of us back from telling our parents is that they would start asking questions about the others in the family. I mean, three out of four, how would they take it? Would they blame themselves? Was is someone they know? Was it the water? :-) We know the answer... it's just the way we are. My roommate figures with 3 out of 4, it is bound to surface sooner or later, for at least one of us. He told his parents a few months ago, they were surprised, and accepting it on a surface level, but deep down, they still think there is hope. They are not ready to meet any of his gay friends. When he visits alone they find it easier to relate, and they see that he's still the same son they always had. He feels that his parents are constantly trying to analyze him and his friends, regardless of whether they are gay or not. If and when I do come out to my parents, I'm sure they'd recap our entire lives to find out where things went wrong. I don't think they would really blame each other of being over/under protective, but that's still a possibility. Damn, I'm being very vague... the truth is, I don't know what to expect. I guess it's the fear of the unknown. I've said enough for know. My roommate does suggest a book on the subject, called "A Family Matter". Unfortunately, it was just lent out and he doesn't recall the author. So Long... Take care... "Kidd"