debenedi@yale-comix.UUCP (Robert DeBenedictis) (05/15/84)
Hey people, maybe it's just my site, or maybe I'm expecting too much . . . But, it seems like this group is quiescent ONCE AGAIN. Is there some reason why people would want to eschew discussions in this group? If we can't talk about anything else AT LEAST we can talk about why we can't talk about anything else. Can't we? The only people besides myself who seem to post regularly to this group are John Crane, Steve Dyer, Mike Simpson, and (recently) Cal Thixton. Particularly Steve and Mike. You feel left out of this list of notables? Then post something. I'm trying as hard as I can in this article to get people to post things. I don't know about you, but I like reading this group. I don't care what it is either. I like reading anything at all, just because it's posted in this group. Silly and prejudiced, yes I know, but just knowing (and getting visible proof) that being gay is o.k., that other people are doing it, that I can get by, is . . . reassuring. Also, I don't know about you, but I feel that there just aren't enough role models of being gay to suit my taste. Reading this group exposes me to other modes of attack for my thoughts to take when contemplating life in general. Parable: You are in charge of a weekly discussion section of a course that meets twice a week. You have some students in the section (of about 12) who are always voicing their opinions. Maybe a bit too much. Then you have the other quieter kids in the section. You've read their papers, you know they have worthwhile things to say. But they never talk in section. Are the verbal kids intimidating the quiet ones? Or, would the teaching assistant (you) do all the talking if it weren't for the verbal ones? Imperfect parable, o.k.? But maybe you realize that I just want to know why there isn't more talk around here. Could it be that no one reads this group but us? No, I refuse to believe that you and I are the only ones reading this group. But unless more of you quiet ones start talking . . . O.K., so I can't threaten you with anything. Let me just say, you live in the kind of world you perceive. You can affect you perceptions. You can perceive what you want. A lot depends on your assumptions. More than seems the case, your assumptions define the way a situation develops. Your assumptions define your world. Face it, you probably have more freedom than you'd like to admit. I feel like at I'm just at that point where the political and the personal merge. I'd rather not be political -- it's too impersonal. One last thing (honest): Go out and get Joe Jackson's BODY AND SOUL. Particularly, listen to You Can't Get What You Want (Till You Know What You Want). Maybe you should pour yourself a glass of wine first (or the equivalent!!), put on a pair of headphones and THINK. Give yourself time. I know that paying attention to lyrics, and thinking that they have anything to say, is supposed to be kind of high-schoolish and juvenile. But, the culture speaks, I listen. It's not gospel, and it's not me, but it's something. It's information. I've completely stopped being rigorous in my train of thought. Hope to see you on the net. "Now, We're Never Alone" (or so I had hoped) Another MESSAGE IN THE BOTTLE (as in The Police) from Robert DeBenedictis THIS PARAGRAPH ADDED LATER: I've decide that I'd rather entreat you to listen to all of side one of BODY AND SOUL. Also, I get the impression that it has less to do with being gay than with being me. You can judge from this article if we think enough alike to warrant your getting the album. Joe Jackson DOES have at least one good song when it comes to being gay. It's Real Men, and it's on NIGHT AND DAY. Also, this "go get this album" pitch should probably only be heeded if you're someone who searches for meaning in life in lyrics, as well as elsewhere. THIS PARAGRAPH ADDED (STILL) LATER: Forget about the Joe Jackson album. I've decide that I like it but that it's not really that outstanding. Sorry if I got your hopes up. And by the way, Why is it that so many men worry more about getting bald than about losing their hair? The answer probably has nothing to do with Laurie Anderson's MISTER HEARTBREAK. I don't belive it. I thought I stopped writing this yesterday. But you know what? I had the bright idea of letting it sit for a while `cause I was unsure about it. Silly thing to have done. Now I find that having this conceptual space around forces me to dump my thoughts into it. I'm sorry, but if you don't like it post the kinds of things you want to see to net.motss. I got some great news today. I figure I can say that since nobody reads this group. I figure nobody reads it `cause I rarely see things posted to it. So as long as it's just you and me here I figure I can tell you that I found out today that I passed this course that I wasn't sure about passing. It was one of those Com-Sci theory courses. Models of Computation, I think. Boy, am I looking foward to graduating. Hey, did you know that a real quick way to stay awake (when you're staying up late meeting deadlines) is to wash your face and shave. I realize that excludes women, but we hardly ever hear from women here; here in net.motss that is. Anyway, it also helps if you brush your teeth. It's remarkably effective. Suddenly you just feel as though you're no longer tired. Like a car. I'm just gonna keep on writing this big long article till somebody posts something to net.motss. It's kind of like a reverse jackpot. The sooner you post something the less of this you'll have to wade through. I think I'm making myself perfectly clear. (Just Joking.) Tommorrow is the last day of exams here. Seniors get to hang around until the 28th, that's graduation. Do other schools have a period of time like that? It's a weird thing to have. Everybody just sort of hangs around and is supposed to do all those things that you usually don't do when you say "I've got too much work." Maybe it's a University psychological weapon. Maybe it's supposed to make us realize that without work to do we are nothing. Well, I don't plan realize that, and I won't. If you don't know how to enjoy yourself, or if you can ONLY find enjoyment in activities prescribed by others then good luck when you die. Nobody tells you how to do that. There are lots of things nobody tells you how to do. There are lots of times when nobody tells you what to do either. Like when do you come out to someone, and, how do they react. I think one of the great things about coming out (at least at the start) is that it can't help but be incredibly genuine for both parties involved. It's you on your own, without the cultural footholds that usually help us through the tough spots. (When In Doubt, Keep Quiet) or (No One Was Complaining So I Kept On Talking). Ahh, I recognize this place. This must be email. Are you with me? I sometimes make fairly irrelevant leaps, but then again, everyone's related. Hey, now and then I rationalize certain behaviors or activities by saying, well, I guess it has to do with the fact that I'm gay. Well, just what effect does being gay have on one? huh? I mean, gay people tend to go through a commonly unique experience as kids. They all sort of realize one day that they are the people that the other kids have been making fun of. Don't they? I mean, at one of the most topsy-turvy times in a person's life, when your growing and changing so quickly you find out (from none other than yourself) that you are gay. It's not a decision that anyone ever makes for you. It's something that only you can realize. And don't tell me that anyone at age 14 is all that excited about realizing that they're gay. Sure it may be a relief to suddenly have a word and a single explanation for why you always sort of thought that world was designed on a scale that didn't take you into account. Still, that relief is secondary to realizing that maybe the world is indeed better suited to others. I can't imagine what I must have felt like as I began to realize I was gay. Does anyone out there really remember? Encourage your nieces and nephews to keep diaries. Don't you wish you had a chronicle of those times? Won't you wish you had a chronicle of these times? Then post some articles to net.motss and save them (ALL) in some file on your machine and then you can look back in twenty years and see what you were thinking. There. Now are you gonna post something for me to read?