evans@wivax.UUCP (Barry Evans) (05/24/84)
[Hey, look at this! Someone *new* is posting to this group! Everyone
gather `round, quick!!]
Hello.
Last week, Rob pointed out that he's not seen anything much in this group.
Well, his article, to me, was very enlightening, at least enough to
get me to post this. So, why is it that people aren't posting? Maybe
it's just that they don't feel they have anything important to say,
(for the most part, I don't believe that one in the least).
Or, maybe they're a little afraid of other people seeing their article,
or maybe they're just a little shy, like myself. I know that some people
"here" do read this group - their .newsrc's don't lie, do they? But, maybe
they just like to keep `in touch' with what's going on, fine, but, this
all reminds me of my high school english class. We got on the topic of
people being leaders or followers, which had something to do with "Animal
Farm", I think, but most of the class realized that they were really
"sheep", the followers, who would let the others (the pigs?) set the pace...
and the rules, and of course, the pigs were the only ones to have any fun.
Naturally, the moral was, once a sheep always a sheep - or something (?!?).
Um, what's this got to do with anything? Well, believe it or not, that's
kind of the way it is here, with only few people speaking out, the
rest just taking it all in, doing what they're told. (like me, right?)
So, now that at least one more person is talking here, why don't we
think of some topics... Hmmm. Where do we start? Coming out?
Telling our folks? Or, even worse, what does someone do when
one of their peers "finds out" that they are gay? I saw an
episode of "Family" tonight on tv, which dealt with this. Willy found
out that his best friend of 12+ years was gay. Willy took the standard
escape of shutting off his friendship to Zeek, but in the end he came
around to realize what Zeek had gone through all his life, and that he
was really the same person that he has always known and loved. This all
leads to Rob's question on 'growing up gay'. What does a kid do when
they start to realize that they really are different? I suspect
that the younger someone is when they make these discoveries, the
easier it is for them to come out because they haven't learned full
extent of how society's pressure can really screw things up.
I think the whole process of discovering that you're gay takes some time.
It isn't something that you just realize one day. I'm sure many of you
can think back to some (several?) days in high school/junior high
years, when you found yourself with feelings you couldn't explain, you
may have just tried to ignore them, but they'd keep coming back, right?
Hey, when do most people realize that they're gay? I mean, to the point
that at least one other person knows? Is it around the age of, say 13 or 14,
or high school... college...?
Getting back to someone finding out about you... people always seem to
say "If they're really your friend, then it won't make a difference to them."
For this very reason, it often makes it that much easier to actually
tell someone you're gay without them asking, that is, assuming you
really want them to know. Of course, if they ask, in all seriousness,
then there really isn't any reason why you shouldn't tell them, they
probably have a very good idea of where you're coming from anyways.
Ok. I'm cutting this short now. But, I want to leave with just one
question. How should someone go about telling their parents that
they're gay? Now, assuming that this person is not the only gay child
in the family, how then should they go about it? Or, should they just
give up the idea of telling them? Is it true that the parents, (especially
the mother) probably already knows that their children may be gay?
[actually, that was four questions, but who's counting, right?]
Oh yeah, as Rob said, Joe Jackson's "Night and Day" is good, but not
good enough to go buy unless you really like Jackson or good lyrics.
But, the "Body and Soul" lp is superb! Just my opinion, you don't
have to go buy it if you don't *really* want to. I don't care. Just
don't blame me if...um, aw, never mind...
Hope to hear from some of you others!
I just though of one. For those of you who are straight, what would
your reaction be if you best friend or brother/sister told you they
were gay? Or, if this has happened, what were your reactions, feelings?
Would you care to share these thoughts with us?
-barry
--
Barry Evans {apollo, cadmus, decvax, linus, masscomp}!wivax!evans
Wang Institute (617) 649-9731 x383pooh@ut-sally.UUCP (Wendy P. Nather) (05/25/84)
Okay, a challenge has been given! I have been
following the postings for a couple of weeks now,
but this is the first discussion I felt I
*could* join in on.
This is mainly because I am a straight female,
but, at the risk of sounding cliched, some of
my best friends are gay. One of them I have
known for eight years, and I don't really remember
when I discovered he was gay. It just seemed
natural, since he was always making little
comments and made almost no attempt to hide
his preference, at least in front of our
group of friends.
If my brother told me he was gay, I'm not
sure how I'd react. For some reason, I think
I'd be upset--could it be that I would feel
more protective/possessive? (silly feelings
in themselves, but lots of feelings are)
(He is a year younger than I am, by the way.)
Other close friends have confessed to me
that they were either gay or sometimes
attracted to MOTSS, and it has not bothered
me in the slightest. Most of the time I
was not too surprised, since I had gotten
an inkling before (*side question: how many
of you out there claim to be able to tell
when a person is gay just by watching?).
Their reactions to telling me were much
worse than mine were at hearing it--they
were the ones who were upset, insecure etc.
Let's fire it up, folks! I know you're out there--
I can hear you breathing!
Pooh [Sing Ho! for the life of a Bear!]