brenner@dec-aruba.UUCP (06/11/84)
Mike Musing's note: >It might not be a legitimate "net.singles" topic, but there is an aspect >of homosexuality other then FUN. Homosexuality appears to be a perversion >(no negative or any other connotation here) of one of the basic human >instincts. Object of the sexual drive (and its ultimate purpose) differs >from original. >I am *not* discussing need for love (communication), just the sex aspect. >Since the original nature of a basic impulse is superceded, the phenomenon >in question seems to be similar to some eating deviations (anorexia, bulimia, >overall reverse direction of digestive tract movements). As someone who is both gay and in recovery from a compulsive eating disorder related to the ones mentioned above, I beg to disagree. Compulsive eating disorders are physical/emotional/mental illnesses characterized by the individual not coping with reality, and turning to the compulsive behavior as an (admittedly inadequate) defense against reality. Homosexuality is a sexual orientation. Period. No avoidance of reality, in fact an embracing of the individual's real self. Certainly "a basic impulse is superceded", inasmuch as sexuality is no longer aimed at procreation, but even in the straight population sexuality is no longer purely a "goal-oriented behavior" with procreation as a goal--as the popularity of birth control and the 20th century emphasis on love for love's sake demonstrates. Arguing from theories of basic drives is very slippery, because in the assumption of what constitutes a basic drive, theorists can let all sorts of presumptions slip in based on their preconceived notions of what is basic (read "natural"). And human beings are very flexible, with a lot of behaviors that are very vital to their physical and psychic health that transcend the "basic" ones such as stilling hunger, creating offspring, and others that we share with your average rat, pigeon, rhesus monkey, or whatever a behaviorist puts in a Skinner box these days. You seem to be assuming that since only a minority of the population is gay, and gayness does not fit a "basic" drive, that it should get classed with eating disorders. I have a drive to be a lesbian because it is vital to my health to be who I am; denial of that drive had actually played a role in my neurotic disorders, as I tried to blot out my frustrations and anxieties over trying to fit everyone else's idea of what I should be by engaging in compulsive behavior. The higher my self-acceptance, the more liberty I have from my old destructive patterns. For *me*, gay is healthy. *Regardless* of any *theorist's* idea of what's natural, normal, etc. >I am *not* discussing need for love (communication), just the sex aspect. Because healthy human behavior transcends the "basic" drives, "just the sex aspect" cannot be discussed separately. A whole healthy human being, of any sexual orientation, has sex, partner, and love needs intertwined in a complex relationship. Tweezing them apart not only makes it hard to apply what you're talking about to real human beings--it also makes it easy to slip into specious arguements such as "homosexuality is unnatural because it doesn't fulfill the self-evident (!) goal of sex". Consider the number of gays and lesbians who are also parents or are actively seeking to be parents. And then there's the numbers of straight people who are choosing to not have children. I repeat: sex in humans is indeed much more than just a drive to reproduce. >It might not be a legitimate "net.singles" topic, but there is an aspect >of homosexuality other then FUN. >Object of the sexual drive (and its ultimate purpose) differs >from original. I think, Mike, that you give it away here. Implied is that "sex with MOTSS is fun, but let's talk about the serious (negative) consequences of this fun". And the choice of the word "original" implies that first came the "real thing", heterosexuality, and then there was this illogical subgroup... In other words, I kindly urge you to check yourself; your homophobia is showing. Not at all meant as a flame; I really want to encourage you to examine your assumptions. Yours for health and truth, wherever you may find it. Ellen Brenner ...decvax!decwrl!rhea!aruba!brenner