rob@denelcor.UUCP (Rob Wahl) (06/20/84)
********************************************************************** There are several reasons I want to advertise my gayness: 1) Foremost, I feel that change will only come when more people come out of the closet and openly assert their right to exist. I mean totally, unequivocably and unabashedly. If you only tell those who ask, you won't tell many, and you certainly won't reach those whose attitudes most need changing. More than this, you will always be denying yourself the right to free expression. 2) Fairness. We are constantly inundated with reminders of heterosexuality, from wedding rings to oversexed commercials. It's about time straights were presented with constant reminders of gay presence. 3) I don't like being presumed straight until proven otherwise. Do you know how much mail my *wife* gets? If someone sees me in public, they automatically class me with the rest of the world, straight implied; in this way I actually work against my own kind because I do nothing to challenge this assumption. 4) I would like to be able to meet other gays outside of the usual gathering spots (i.e. bars). I don't like having to travel into the gay "ghetto" for my social life. And I would rather not waste my time chasing after straight men if I can help it. If people equate making gayness obvious with flaunting it, fine. After the sh*t I've put up with, I feel entitled. Robert Wahl
dyer@wivax.UUCP (Stephen Dyer) (06/22/84)
Rob's posting reminded me of a letter which I recently sent to someone regarding the same issues. I enclose a fragment of it for your perusal. "I think it is important when confronting public prejudice against gay people to mention that one is gay in one's response if that is the case, for even though this is logically unconvincing as rhetoric, it can still be a powerful counter-example to those who know of gay people only from what they hear or fear. That is, you can be an important witness for the truth, merely by standing up and being yourself. What is more, given that many gay people still do not feel comfortable with this, the actions of a small number of people become even more important. "In a broader sense, one has to ask the question as to when mentioning being gay is ever inappropriate. That is, you can say "I don't care whether X is straight or gay." Fine. But there is a phenomenon which I might call "leakiness" which holds true for heterosexuals, yet is still questioned when gay people display it. That is, unless you are going out of your way to hide something, facts about your heterosexuality just naturally "leak" out of your daily life: your wife's (or MOTOS') picture in your wallet or on your desk, your casual mention of the trip you took last weekend, meeting and introducing your friend to acquaintances you meet on the street. By no stretch of the imagination would anyone claim that you were "flaunting" heterosexuality. Yet gay people, if they even display an amount of openness much less than this, are often said to be "flaunting" their preference, if not being downright exhibitionistic. Too often, when someone says, "I don't care whether X is gay or not--it is irrelevant", one is really prescribing a choice between "leaky" heterosexuality and a kind of neutered asexuality. I am not making any judgements about your own comments, just giving you some of my perceptions." -- /Steve Dyer decvax!bbncca!sdyer sdyer@bbncca.ARPA