dyer@wivax.UUCP (Stephen Dyer) (07/15/84)
Since there's been mention of how gay people are redefining many of the accepted roles in a relationship, I'd like to ask about one specific aspect: the need (or not) for monogamy in an ongoing relationship. It's been my experience that straight couples, married or not, place great value on monogamy, and that going outside the relationship for sex or affection constitutes A PRIORI "betrayal." This hasn't been the presumption in most gay male relationships I'm familiar with (regardless of their practice.) These generalizations naturally don't hold for every individual couple, which has to come up with some decision, explicit or not, about monogamy. I am interested to hear what other lesbians and gay men feel about this, how thay have dealt with it in their own relationships, and what they feel is an ideal (if there is any at all.) -- /Steve Dyer decvax!bbncca!sdyer sdyer@bbncca.ARPA
brower@fortune.UUCP (Richard Brower) (07/20/84)
I have been in several relationships, and have not felt the need to try
the monogamy game in any of them. In fact, in my experience, monogamy
in gay relationships seems to be almost exclusively confined to *very*
young relationships (and most of them that start monogamous do not last
long enough to become older relationships). In the last two relationships
that I have been involved in (7 years and 4 years respectively), monogamy
and its associated emotion jealosy have been outlawed at the beginning
of the relationship. Ridding a relationship of jealosy is, naturally,
on ongoing process that takes much effort on the part of all parties
involved.
Richard Brower Fortune Systems
{ihnp4,ucbvax!amd70,hpda,sri-unix,harpo}!fortune!brower