gmm@bunker.UUCP (Gregory M. Mandas) (07/25/84)
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Folks,
You may think the Subject line intimates a flame, but it does not. I am
a straight who thinks gays are ok. Most of the gays I have met are sensible
people who have though out their positions, since gays do not have the
social norms to fall back on; as for example the discussions in this news
group are sensible, not like the crap in net.singles. Straights have all
sorts of social norms/more', most of which they do not understand.
I think this is some of the reasoning behind the "Trish" mess going on
in net.singles.
To the Subject:
I think you guys/gals/gays are going about this gay marriage thing all
wrong. As a straight I have found that in one sentence in front of a
preacher ("I DO") I have entered into a number of contracts I know
nothing about. All of the sudden the house I bought and paid for is now
half my wife's. This is fine now but, if relations fall apart and divorce
comes into play she gets a finacial windfall, and she makes more money
than I do.
Don't get me wrong. I plan to stay married for a long time and I do NOT
feel my indenpendence/life has been limited. My point is, I
have entered into contractual agreements that have been legislated
by state and local governments. It seems to me that you want the same
legislated contracts to apply to gay marriages.
Straights are fighting these assumed contracts by entering into pre-
marital agreements that supercede the state laws.
Solution: Get the gay lawyers to put together a package describing
each of the contractual agreements that consitute marriage. A Gay-marriage
contract, like a pre-mariatal agreement. Such things as I, a non lawyer
see them, could be:
a) Sign over all property or a co-ownership contract.
b) Specify who gets what when who dies.
c) Insurance. If you are both working, you should have your own company
policy. If not, make one of you a dependent.
d) Dependency may also help on your joint tax return. (I don't know if
you can get the married partner tax break, but since the US govn.
does not see you as "married" you can file single, which is usually
better tax wise.) (as an aside. people in their sixties, starting
another relationship after their partner died, are "living together"
for these and Social Security reasons.)
c) Specify the tenents of your relationship. ("I will not partake
in intimate acts with anyone else but my partner.") If you catch
him in the arms of a lover, you can shoot him on the grounds
he is breaking your contractual agreement and claim the contract
was the basis on which your life revolves, temporary
insanity. Heterosexual marriages do it all the time.
As the "normal" marriages are trying to rethink the institution of
their relationships away from legislated contracts, I see the Gay
marriage push as trying to have these very same assumptions apply
to them. If you look deeply into the rights of married partners when
a divorce is initiated you may find out that you do not like what
society imposes on heterosexaul relationship.
These suggestions are directed only to solving the legal question
of marriage. As far as the moral issue of giving gays the same rights
as non-gays, it would seem to me that the Equal Right Amendment, when
passed, should include all people, not just women, so you might want
to get involved, if you are not already.
Trish,
I hope you have read this. You may not agree and I hope to hear from
you if you don't or I show ignorance towards the gay community. Although
you may, "Think most men are..." I disagree with you. Some, if not most,
are careing people and some even post positive articles to news groups
they are not a member of.
Greg (the other Greg) Mandas
ittvax!bunker!gmm