sdo@brunix.UUCP (Scott Oaks) (08/08/84)
Ellen--What an interesting article! In fact, when I looked at this article, I saw a lot of myself in it--only somewhat backwards. I had always wanted a monogamous relationship, but whenever I began any relationship, my interest in other men immediately increased. I always thought this was a sign that I was actually afraid to enter into a relationship (which in fact it may be), but your discussion of getting one's emotional needs from one's partner shed a new light on this for me; it made me realize that when one's relationship is providing what one needs, that other considerations will become strikingly less important. I think I've realized now that whatever decision one (two, actually) comes to about the nature of the relationship, as long as it is made in agreement, it doesn't really matter whether the relationship is monagamous or non-monagamous. And that if the two people are committed to making the relationship work, then it will. Your article makes a lot of sense--especially because it made me realize that every relationship must of course be different; something I suppose I would have always agreed with but something I found myself putting into practice altogether too infrequently. "Such an about face", you say, and so might I. But maybe not--the confusions we all feel when coming out have many manifestations, and clinging to the "normal" ideal of monogamy might well be one of them. But I guess I'll just have to take it like it comes, and see what happens. Scott Oaks No, greet me as you used! Affection is a burden I can bear.