rjd@linus.UUCP (Robert DeBenedictis) (10/31/84)
A basic point in one of Mr. Brunson's latest articles was that discrimination
against gays might be a plus for (as he described it)
those only marginally committed to this
particular brand of self-destruction.
Now, Mr. Brunson, we are not talking anywhere near here about some
wishy-washy homosexual who cannot make up his mind about whether or
not he *really* likes spending lots of time in bed with other guys.
We are talking about hard-core gay MEN. And hard-core bisexuals.
And hard-core lesbians.
Just who do you think you are talking to Mr. Brunson?
Does GOD read USENET?
You are wasting your time here. There are very few sexual sinners out
there that are marginally committed. Unless you consider a little oral
sex from another guy occasionally (you know, when you're hard up) . . .
(And so drunk that to call it a memory would really be a cause for concern.)
People, gay people even, don't go around saying: "Geez, you know, life
might be a lot easier for me if I just gave up this whole gay thing."
WELL, maybe if ALL your friends said you were BiB (Boring in Bed) you
might wanna see if women found your assets more pleasing. But, NOBODY
thinks that discrimination in any way has prevented homosexuality from
becoming the grand old pastime that it is. And why? I'll tell you.
You see, they've done these studies that showed that the incidence of
homosexuality is roughly a constant 10% -- in any old cultures you
happen to choose. Yes, you heard me. And some of those cultures are
probably more intolerant than the one we live in, and some are probably
pretty good places for gay people like us to hang out (but those cultures
probably don't have compact disc players so I'll stay right here thank you).
SO, your being mean to those "sexual sinners" isn't likely to have much
effect on what people choose to do in bed, or even how often they choose
to do it. BUT, it will have an effect, yes sirree! (Don't doubt that.)
The effect will be thus: Your son would never share his gayness with you.
Not only that, lots of other sons (and daughters!) would never tell the
parents they loved for so long about this thing which they feel would drive
apart their cherished family unit. Got That? So you wanna know how you
can tell if your beloved johnny is gay. See how much he talks to you,
Mr. Brunson. Does he often stay out late saying that he was spending time
"with friends." Would you rather believe that than the truth that dare not
enter your mind? (An aside to believers: Let alone speak its name.)
The point is this, Mr. Brunson. You can't get rid of homosexulity. Believe
me, I've tried. But, you can drive it underground and into the bushes. You
might find that more appealing to your well-defined moral sense. You know,
Out of My Sight, Out of My Mind. ("I don't see anyone starving in America!")
What do you want, Mr. Brunson? An America were homosexuals are free to meet
in classy, chic restaurants or an America where you have no idea of what
someone does for a living until after the fact. You decide.
By the way, Book Burning is never a good idea. I can't think of any ideas
(not even Book Burning, *surprise*!) which I wouldn't want my kids exposed
to. Unless of course my kids were stupid and believed every damn piece of
parchment they laid their eyes on. But then, that would be their problem,
right?
You think things out so well, but you miss the big picture. The exact same
books you use to claim that being gay is a "sexual sin." Say that
Thou shalt not spill his seed upon the ground.
(or stain the sheets!)
Now tell me, Mr. Brunson, do YOU think masturbation is a sin?
Do YOU ask for the forgiveness of GOD every time YOU have a little
party with your right hand?
I think your answer to this would settle the whole issue once and for all.
Anyone, and I mean even you, who thinks that masturbation is a sin is,
pardon the term, a certified quack. Even Dear Abby says it O.K. for the
guys to play with their peters. On the other hand (!), if you think . . .
(dare I say it) ONANISM is a fine and dandy pursuit THEN how do you square
this with your firmly held convictions regarding what is and what isn't a
"sexual sin." I mean, who makes up these rules anyway, masturbaters?
Yes, what DO you do about those hard-core Jerk-Offs. You know, the ones
that ask you for money in skid row. If you give them a fin they're just
gonna pop into the nearest peep show and get they're rocks off. You're
better of giving them a Nature's Valley Granola Bar.
If the sinner,
the enemy of righteousness,
the liar against the truth,
the defiler of those things that are holy and good,
needs food, then feed him.
I don't know about you but the only thing I defile that's "holy and good"
is this pair of briefs that I stole from my first in college.
Actually, you've completely lost all your credibility in this group already.
What I'm telling you is that the onanism point is moot, don't waste your time
on it. Your faux pas came when you so thoughtlessly recommended that
all of the French existentialist literature
be destroyed in a pyromaniacal Book-Burning orgy. You brute, you.
On the other hand sexual sins: fornication,
homosexuality, incest, adultery, bestiality,
are always, under all circumstances, inherently evil.
WHAT! FORNICATION, inherently evil! This I've gotta see! I mean, like,
where would you and your kids (not to mention your wife) be without . . .
you know, the thing you close the door for. I mean, what the hell, if
fornication is just as bad as homosexuality I might as well give this gay
thing a whirl. I mean, fornication usually gets a pretty high rating from most
people, right up there with watching DYNASTY (a bad combination by the way).
Once again, can anyone give me any kind of reason
(even a "logical" one) why I should be treated as
a criminal for refusing to associate with homosexuals?
Aw, come on now, Mr. Brunson. Don't be such a party pooper, associate with
us. What are you afraid of, disease? How old are you anyway? You don't
come here that often do you? I promise to be gentle. You know what, I
think you're the type that would really go for this. (Are you a talker?)
You know, I think we could have a lot of fun together if only you'd loosen
up a little. Don't be such a tightass! Relax -- you'll get your turn.
Here, smell this. It's only poppers. That's right.
Hey, Mr. Brunson, I really apologize for playing with you like this, but
you gotta admit, You Asked For It. You really did. So I just gave it to
you. What are ya gonna do now, run home and complain to mommy? You'll
be lucky enough to find a chair you can sit on. No hard feelings I hope.
Another Not So Subtle Message Up The Keister from
Robert DeBenedictis
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
This posting in no way reflects the attitudes of my employer, The MITRE
Corporation. In fact, this is a rather domestic, conservative, academic
type place. I kinda like it. But, that not withstanding, these views
are wholly my own and none others.