moriarty@fluke.UUCP (The Napoleon of Crime) (04/30/85)
Well, I admit that me going to the N.R.A. convention (which occurred a
few weeks ago in Seattle) is a bit unusual, so I'll compress it here
to saying a close friend of mine had a booth there, and I thought I'd
take a look around while I was waiting for the show to quit so we could
get dinner.
I don't know what picture the N.R.A. brings to mind for you; I always
kindof pictured them alongside automatic mailing machines and
form-letter generating computers. But I have to admit, going through
the aisles of stands at the show, that it appears the majority (65%)
of the show was dealing with equipment to be used while hunting --
hunting rifles, spotting scopes, and basically stuff which was not in
any way suggestive of use on humans. Another 25% seemed to be into
gun collecting, and this included most handguns. I was a bit surprised
by this, as I thought a lot of the handgun promotion would be on
self-protection, etc. Apparently the big "buying appeal" is to have a
low serial number on your Magnum .something-or-other (especially as
the time it takes to get the spotless collector's model out of it's
fine oak case with combination lock and safety straps would give the
average assailant several minutes to blow you away, unless he wanted to
wait for you to get the damn thing out of the box for him before
wasting you)
Ah, but for those of you who thought I was going to make the N.R.A.
look completely sane (or, at least as sane as most people out there), I
can report several munitions sellers out in force, showing people just
how much fun having an automatic rifle or sub-machine gun can be
(Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh What a Feeling -- Uzi!). The promotional video for the
Uzi Automatic rifle was particularly amusing -- it looks just like what
you've come to associate an Uzi with: block-like body, with a short
muzzle which couldn't be used for shooting anything other than a
bipedal assailant (and we ain't talkin Gorilla here, son). The video
starts out with heavy disco music, while people blow the livin'
Bejeezuz out of thousands of harmless items -- trees, targets, metal
armor plating. And bless me if it ain't Mrs. Johnson next door, and
her insurance salesman husband Ned who are using these fyne pieces of
Israeli machinery. The dialogue goes on to explain the uses of this
little plaything. I particularly like the picture of a father and son
walking through through the woods with an Uzi under Dad's arm
("Someday, son, all this will be yours!"). Suddenly, boy points to
something off-camera. Dad whips out rifle and BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!
Cut to a Coke can being obliterated into metal dust. Really missed the
A-Team theme music there. Father turns back to son and they smile
("That Coke can will never bother the free-speaking citizens of the
United States again, son!" "Gosh, Dad, you're my hero!"). Also
suggested it was great for small business: it shows a liquor store
owner with one underneath his counter (good way to cut down on excess
inventory during a hold-up, I guess).
Actually, I guess it seems pretty logical; most of the people at the
N.R.A. were engaged in hobbies that I myself wouldn't take up, but seem
fairly normal, while only a very small percentage seem to be the
"survivalist gun crazies" I've heard about all my years -- but believe
me, they ARE there.
P.S. Looked for you there, Ken Ardnt, but couldn't find you. Suspect
you were by the Marine's stand looking over the hand-held anti-aircraft
missiles....
"OHHLYMPIAA! Olympia!"
"Osiris!"
"My friend!"
"What has happened to your nose?"
Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc.
UUCP:
{cornell,decvax,ihnp4,sdcsvax,tektronix,utcsrgv}!uw-beaver \
{allegra,gatech!sb1,hplabs!lbl-csam,decwrl!sun,ssc-vax} -- !fluke!moriarty
ARPA:
fluke!moriarty@uw-beaver.ARPAfsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann) (05/04/85)
In article <vax2.558> moriarty@fluke.UUCP (The Napoleon of Crime) writes: > >Ah, but for those of you who thought I was going to make the N.R.A. >look completely sane (or, at least as sane as most people out there), I >can report several munitions sellers out in force, showing people just >how much fun having an automatic rifle or sub-machine gun can be >(Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh What a Feeling -- Uzi!). The promotional video for the >Uzi Automatic rifle was particularly amusing -- it looks just like what >you've come to associate an Uzi with: block-like body, with a short >muzzle which couldn't be used for shooting anything other than a >bipedal assailant (and we ain't talkin Gorilla here, son). ^^^^^^^ But, Uzis ARE made for shooting guerrillas. :-) Frank Silbermann