levasseur@morgan.DEC (01/09/85)
Jason's Guided Tour of Gay Diversions
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Ole Jason has rounded up a lot of pen/keyboard buddies on the net
and a lot ask me what gay life is like up here in the frozen north.
I'll tell you a lot of things that Bob Damron doesn't have the time
to in my little romp through gay diversions in Beantown and surr-
ounds. I'll start with Boston (one of my all time favorite cities)
then we can work our way out into the more remote parts of gaydom.
Boston is a rather small city in comparison to some of the new sun-
belt cities in the Southwest. You can walk from one end of the city
to the other in a fairly short time. This is highly recommended to
taking a taxi. Boston cabbies are rude and will take the unsuspect-
ing tourist 27 blocks out of the way to his destination; 5 blocks
from where he caught the cab. Here are some of the diversions that
Boston and the burbs have to offer the visiting gay man on a tank or
less of gas.
Chaps- Reputed to be one of Boston's hottest dance/cruise bars. It
lurks in the shadow of the Copley PLace complex. They recently
redecorated the bar again for the 137th time. The music's hot
the men are hotter. For the brave; remove your shirt, hoot it
up on the dance floor and exchange sweat with all the other
hunks. For the more timid; stand outside the bar and peek
through the windows.
Buddies- Around the corner from Chaps. This is a basement bar and one
prerequisite to get in is to allow yourself to be blindfolded.
You're then asked to find the fire exits. Hot music and very
preppy crowd. You can hear them squeak as they walk by they're
so clean. A tractor trailer truck crashed into the building
once and they left the tractor in the wall; this is where the
dj booth is. Lots of neon and pretty faces. Wear your best des-
igner jeans and LaCoste shirt. No one gets in the door unless
he has an alligator or other wildlife creature on his shirt.
Fritz- In the infamous gay ghetto of the South End. Nice airy place
which plays taped music and serves gay food (quiche, brunch,
etc. All the Chapettes from Chaps come here after their feet
get tired from dancing at Tea Dance. There's even a hotel up-
stairs but we won't talk about that.
Eagle- Down the street from Fritz sits the Boston Eagle. A kind of nice
bar which has the reputation of being a nasty leather/s.m. pal-
ace. Actually the place is quite tame and brunch is served along
with old Bogart films, etc. Wear your 501's and hankie.
Loft- Boston's after hours bar. The place opens at 2am on the weekend
and is within spitting distance of The Boston Police Department's
Precinct 3. There's two floors one for dancing, the other for
less honorable pursuits. Every hot guy who turned you down at all
the other places can be found here after the bars close. The place
gets raided when the B.P.D. get bored after a hard day of ticketing
cars. Rumor has it you can see every imaginable sex act being per-
formed live, by the patrons under the plastic palm tree. Not for
the faint of heart or a place to bring Aunt Gertrude.
Lulu's-Boston's newest addition to gay nightlife. Was an old Jazz/Supper
club, now a gay disco. Old Jason can't tell you much yet since I
was the only customer there on the Sunday I went. The bartender
was friendly though.
Sporters- A Boston institution. I think that when the city was incorporated
Sporters opened. An easy place to miss since there aren't any mark-
ings on the building. Just stand around Cambridge Street on a Sat-
urday night and notice where all the good looking men are headed,
of course if you follow the wrong one, he may be headed for Chaps;
in that case go to Chaps, it's more interesting.
119 Merrimac- This place looks like the building is slated for demolition
but lo and behold there's a gay cruise bar inside. Only been there
twice myself but the natives seemed semi-friendly, a few winos and
other interesting flora and fauna drop in from time to time. Wash
your hands before leaving.
1270- In the Fenway area. Foul balls from Fenway Park sometimes conk pat-
rons on the head when the Red Sox are trying to lose the pennent.
A very young crowd; so young that most still have their baby teeth
and are accompanied by their parents. Three floors of pre-pubescent
fun, plus the roof garden round out the 12. I shouldn't knock the
place since it's where I came out while still cutting teeth. Two
discos and a lounge.
Ramrod-Just a few doors down from the 1270 is the Boston Ramrod. Somtimes
Ramrod patrons kidnap the children waiting in line to get into the
12 for experiments. Wear you most faded levis and remember to wear
the correct colored hankie in the proper pocket. Pool table and
old movies are available for viewing on the wide screen tv. Don't
let these leatherette queens fool you, most are ceiling dancers.
Wear your helium heeled shoes.
Fens- Omigosh! right down the street from the Ramrod and 12 are the not-
orious Fens/Victory Gardens. This little plot of well trampled real
estate boasts the world's tallest reeds. It is also a well known
and dangerous cruising area. When the bars close, the bushes rustle
and there is 24 hour a day cruising with no cover charge, except
maybe your life. The area is patrolled by fag bashers and police.
Glider pilots circle the area searching for updrafts from all the
hot bodies in the bushes.
Napoleon- Another Boston institution. The Indians left Napoleon's to the
settlers. Some of the original settlers are still there and sit
around the piano singing. Napoleon is also known as "The Wrinkle
Room" due to an older clientel downstairs. The downstairs bar has
one piano to every patron. The upstairs is called Josephine's Dis-
co and has a better mixture of age groups, good music and fairly
friendly ambiance. It's a well kept, clean, low key elegant place.
Playland- In Boston's world famous, Combat Zone. George Lucas was going
to film the bar scene for Star Wars here but found it stranger
than fiction. Worth a visit if you're out for a few laughs and
have a body guard.
Jacques- Full of drag queens, hustlers and various other lifeforms. Bos-
ton doesn't have the heart to rip the place down since it's been
there so long. Use caution, wear gloves.
Haymarket- On the edge of the fabulous Combat Zone. Jason hasn't been
there but reports from friends tell me it's just another bar.
Metro- Only gay on Sunday nights. It takes them the rest of the week to
get over all the fairies partying it up. The place is huge and
if you go with a lover, handcuff yourselves together; else you
may get separated and never see each other again. Huge video
screen, even bigger crowd! Plan your evening carefully if you
go. Allow yourself at least a half hour to get from the dance
floor to the bathroom; the place gets packed and really jumps.
Mardi Gras lives every Sunday at Metro. Spit is right next door
for the more punked out set.
Paradise- Across the river in Cambridge. This place is right on the MIT
Campus. You can pick out a Paradise patron by the abnormally large
cerebellum. Very intellectual crowd. Be prepared to discuss,"Why
Is there air?" and the theory of relativity if you meet someone.
I got picked up there one night and the guy wanted to get into a
3 way with his Apple II-E. Really though a very friendly place
on two floors. Bring your sliderule or programmable calculator.
We now must get in our car, catch a bus or put out our thumbs to sam-
ple the gay bill of faire further out in the outback lands beyond the
golden beltway of route 128. Of course some of you might be gifted with
the ability to click your heels together 3 times and repeat, "There's
no place like P'Town". In no time flat the house comes down and crushes
a Portugeuse fisherman right in the middle of Commercial Street. The
P'Town Police will probably cite you for having an illegally parked
house. Things are really cramped down there. For the rest of us, it's
about a 3 hour drive from Boston.
P'Town- Where all good fairies go when they die, some bad ones go here
too. The town is an all out assault on all five senses. Lots
to do, eat, drink, buy and explore. I'll be brief since P'Town
would take up 10 megabytes to describe at length. The town is
actually a sleepy Portuguese fishing village during the off
season. As soon as all the juices of Spring start flowing the
fairies all flock, like lemmings, to this Disneyland for homo-
philes. Tea Dance at the Boatslip is a must do on any gay tour-
ist's agenda. Other bars of honorable mention are the "A" house
and Backstreet. The streets are fun, the bars are fun, every-
things fun. So many men and so little space to stuff them all
in. Get the pecs and stomach in shape, bring your hottest pair
of Speedo's and bring money, lot's of it. Plan to take an extra
week off. You'll need it to go home and unwind after your vacat-
ion here.
Ogunquit- In Maine (Uhhh yup!). A pretty little town in the southern part
of the state. A big gay resort but much quieter than P'Town. A lot
of men come here to de-compress their psyches after leaving P-Town.
One dance bar, The Club, is ok but tame. Native Mainiacs don't
like fairies, so be careful commrade! Ogunquit's about 90 minutes
out of Boston.
Cranes- On your way back to Boston along route 95 stop at Cranes Beach. A
really nice beach which charges a steep parking fee but is worth
it for a carfull. About 1/2 to 3/4 mile down the beach is the gay
area. If you can't find it you either need glasses, are a closet
case or just came back from P'Town and don't want to look at an-
other man for six months. There's miles of beaches and dunes to
play in. Be careful while in the dunes. People have gotten upset
about sll the sex that goes on in the dunes. All the semen that
had been spilled in the sand has changed the ecology of the beach
The seagulls have developed large pectoral muscles and grown fac-
ial hair from forraging around in the tainted sand. Rangers patrol
the dunes in jeeps and high altitude spy planes take pictures. A
nice place to go with friends. Bring a lunch and a 12 guage shot
gun to keep away the Greenhead flies. These flies are an atomic
mutation and are as big as a B1 Bombers. They have jaws that can
bite a man's leg clean off. The flies make their appearance dur-
ing mid-July, early-August.
Fantasy-When you leave Cranes Beach drop in at Fantasy's. It's in the same
town (Ipswich) and sports a disco, 3 bars and restaurant. Young
trendy crowd. Nice sound system and lights stolen from the movie
set for the original Frankenstein.
DiRocco's- Warning this file contains extremely toxic material. DiRocco's
is about 45 minutes North of Boston in Tyngsboro, Mass. The entire
town of Tyngsboro was destroyed in an atomic waste accident, only
DiRocco's was left intact. The building resembles an Elk's lodge
or one of those little buildings they put up in New Mexican atom-
ic test ranges. You'll know you're there on a Saturday night when
you drive along the deserted road to an opening in the forrest
filled with cars. The patrons all think they're New York material
and strut around like their shit doesn't stink. Bring a machete
along to cut through the attitude. A very cliquey, gossippy place
where everyone knows everyone else's business. A meteorite fell
behind the bar and the owner put a swimming pool in the hole. The
place bills itself as The Hottest Men's Bar North of Boston. This
is because the original bar got torched years ago. I took a friend
from Boston there once and he threatened to slap my face if I ever
took him there again. Overpriced drinks, worth one visit.
There are also a couple of other bars scattered around but I thought I'de
zero in on the high and low points. Massachusetts has gotten tough on gay
men having sex in rest areas and many now have gun emplacments or have been
turned into nuclear waste dumps. This is good in a way; if your lover comes
home and his sneakers are glowing pale blue, you'll know he's been in the
rest area again. There are also gay social, support, religeous and outdoor
groups for those not into the bar scene. Yes indeed,"Make it in Massachusetts"