mason@pneuma.DEC (ANDREA...DTN 223-4864...OR PSYCHE::MASON) (03/20/85)
Well, things have started jumping again since Robert DeB wrote about his roommate ad. I tried to get through to you, Robert, via the Net, and couldn't, so I'll support you publically. This is an issue for a lot of us, and I admire you for fighting for your rights. So often, as gay men and women we are invisible to the powers that be, and when we ask for visibility, they just can't handle it. That seems to be the case with the management at MITRE. I hope that you will not suffer any ill effects from this experience. There are a lot of people in net.motss land rooting for you. Good luck! Comments on some recent mail about Robert's "situation": ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >> I don't like the "We've got to drawn the line somewhere." quote. >> He could have phrased that though explanation of his position - >> but he probably hasn't reasoned it out fully - comes out >> sounding like a well-dressed, reasonable phobia. I agree completely with \bob. What this guy is really saying, or thinking, is that in reality you are looking for sex, not a roommate. If they allow people to indicate that they only want to live with a male, or a female, a non-smoker, etc...why is being gay where they **have** to draw the line? It's a phoney excuse not to deal with the real issues. KEN ARNDT asks: >> If that's the truth, why not confront them on the >> phone when they call. You know, ask them if they object to >> your alternative lifestyle. Why should Robert have to ask people if they object to his life (we live lives, NOT lifestyles!!!!)? When talking to someone on the phone, it is easy enought to say, "I am gay, but don't have any problems living with someone who isn't." And leave it at that. If they have trouble living with someone who is gay, that's their problem, not ours. >> How about, "I don't like women."; "I don't like men who like women."; >> "Hairdresser prefered."; ". . . . Ken--this is pure homophobia. It's not cute; it's not funny. >> I at one point considered having straight roommates >> (that weren't already friends) and the responses I got >> tended to be upfront no I don't think it would work or >> I never thought about it but I don't think it would be a >> problem. I decided against the experiment because I figured >> if they hadn't thought about it then they also probably >> hadn't dealt with their homophobia yet and I didn't want >> to deal with it. >>Lori Fuller I really agree with Lori on this one. I had a straight roommate when I was coming out (when she moved in I *thought* I was straight also.) Throughout the entire coming out process it was very hard having a straight woman around who was talking about going out with men, bringing men home, and having to deal with her boyfriend who was around quite a bit. I think that if you choose to live with someone (not a friend) who is straight, there is a lot you have to contend with. I'm not sure it's worth it. JSol wrote: >> I'm curious. Why do gay people like to be so visible. >> Why is it so important for gays to be able to proudly >> say in the middle of a crowd that he/she is >> gay. What if I was in a crowded theater and I yelled "fire". >> It almost sounds like they want to legalize that. >> Don't get me wrong, I like and appreciate gays for who >> they are (I'm bisexual, and quite partial to good looking >> gay men myself), I just don't feel they have the right to >> flaunt their sexuality since it may offend others. This guy gets me angrier than Ken Arndt does! I am trying to maintain my cool, but I definately feel a flame coming on: Essentially what you are saying is that you have the "best" of both worlds; you enjoy HETEROSEXUAL PRIVILEDGE, but you also engage in gay sex. From your het world you can say "why do you people do such and such...." and you disassociate from the gay men who you might sleep with. It's so safe for you, and such a superior attitude. Gays have a right to be proud of themselves, to love themselves and be who they are. We do not flaunt our sexuality any more than heterosexuals do. In fact, we do it a lot less. Witness Robert's dilemma and the trouble he has put himself through all because he wanted to use a company newsletter that is available to anyone who works in the company. A straight man or woman would have just run their ad, and never worried about a thing. Heterosexually is everywhere...it is flaunted in every media constantly; gays are assulted with it to the point that we feel totally alien and alienated from the society. Why shouldn't we be legal??? You may be bisexual, but you are HOMOPHOBIC (I'm not even going to address your racism, that would start a lot more than a flame...probably a barn fire). Flame off...simmer.... ****andrea mason**** UUCP: decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-pneuma!mason ARPA: mason%pneuma.DEC@decwrl.ARPA