levasseur@morgan.DEC (03/29/85)
I just got back from visiting San Francisco and a friend in Berkeley
yesterday. The bay area has always been my favorite getaway spot when-
ever the airlines start fighting over who can fly me to the coast the
cheapest. San Francisco to me is a magical city; partly because I'm gay
and also due to the friendliness of her people and the vast array of
things to do and see. This trip was slightly different since I had a
friend to visit. When our visit was over I left Berkeley and took up
residence in one of San Francisco's gay hotels for the remainder of my
vacation; close to the Castro district of course.
When I visited the city a few years ago I played the hot little clone
routine; 501's, bomber jacket, etc and fit right in on the Castro. I
also got laid a lot during that week with some of the finest looking men
this side of a centerfold in Mandate. It was party party party and I
didn't have a worry in the world.
This year's visit was quite a bit different. I noticed that most of
the men's rooms in the Castro area bars had condom dispensers with not-
ices above them to the tune of "Don't let one night of pleasure ruin the
rest of your life" I also overheard a lot of barroom conversation that
revolved around AIDS; body counts, who had it, etc. The streets were still
very cruisy and it was fun to play eye games and have very attractive men
come up to me telling me I was hot looking; good for the ego. On my last
visit these compliments led to the bedroom but this time they resulted in
a lot of pleasant conversation and nothing more. The offers were made but
I figured "why take a chance" I can still have a good time without jump-
ing in the sack with a stranger. I got to know the men this time and just
had a good time enjoying their company.
One man in particular was fun to be with. I met him at the Phoenix, a
bar on Castro Street. We talked and laughed a lot together. He was also
a real fantasy figure straight out of a porno movie. He invited me back
to his place for a drink. We sat up until midnight talking, when he asked
me to spend the night. When I declined, he didn't get upset but gave me a
big hug and said that he enjoyed my company. I left his place feeling good
about not having to have obligatory sex. Wow! I had a real date with a
goodnight hug and kiss. I'm finding these to be as much fun as just trick-
ing. Part of it is due to my own heightened awareness of the hazards of
casual sex and also that I want to get to know a person before I consider
sleeping with them. Looking back I realize that the people who have kept
in touch with me are those that I didn't trick with but the ones that were
just social contacts.
I'm sure that there's still a lot of whoring around in the Castro as
well as other gay havens but I've noticed a lot more caution being exer-
cised by and large; it's about time, for myself as well as everyone else.
It's a matter of self respect as well as survival.
Ray