jrc@ritcv.UUCP (James R. Carbin) (04/03/85)
It is interesting that with all of the arguments over the right to include
the word "gay" in a roommate wanted want-ad, there seems to be an implied notion
that a heterosexual and a homosexual of the same sex could never possibly
get along as roommates.
Wrong, wrong, wrong!
For thirteen months while a friend of mine who is heterosexual (and got
engaged just before moving in with me) was a Graduate Student, he and I
shared an apartment. His fiance visited on several weekends, so we took
the second bedroom and made it into a study/guest-room. That meant that
he and I had to share the other bedroom during the week and on weekends
when he was there. Was it uncomfortable for either of us? NO! Was I
attracted towards him? NO! (It would be like being attracted to your
mother..... we were good friends, not lovers!) Do I think he ever felt
uneasy around me? NO! Did we do some of what I would consider normal
things when two guys share an apartment such as walk from the shower
to the bedroom without clothes. Yes! Was it awkward for either of
us? No! Was I aroused? No! (And so you don't think that this guy
was the pits, he as actually quite attractive..... but as I said, we
were just damn good friends.) Guys walk around the locker room of the
YMCA in the buff and not a soul seems to think that it is strange. So
why wouldn't we do the same thing?
Do I think that many straight guys could have handled this situation.
Yes! Do I think that many homosexual males could handle this kind
of situation? Yes!
I was the best man in their wedding. Today, we (his wife and him) are
still the very best of friends, and besides them, I am probably the
third most important person in the life of their three year old son.
So it is not all black with feelings of doom. It can (and at least
this once) work!
While he and I shared many activities together such as the movies, etc.,
and when his fiance visited, she was included, there were also times when
he (or they) did his own thing and I did mine. I really didn't feel like
I was losing out on anything, rather that I was enjoying a really great
time in my life.
Incidentally, this was about ten years ago when the views of society
were not as liberal as compared to today.
as ever,
j.r. {allegra,seismo}!rochester!ritcv!jrc