schuster@Shasta.ARPA (05/01/85)
OK, folks, I'm writing this for support. I remember an article a few months ago where someone (can't remember) was talking about an exlover trying to blackmail him. I am in the midst of a similar situation. I am pretty out. As a matter of fact, there is only one set of people to whom I am not out (that matters). My father specifically requested that his parents not find out. Lon (the psychotic) just (15 minutes ago) threatened to send a few letters to them. Background: We were going out from Dec 83 to May 84. It was sort of a relationship of convenience as I knew I was going to leave the area in May, I hate LDR's, and I knew I wasn't that attached to him. We discussed this a number of times, and all seemed to be agreed upon. By May, it was plain that he was pretty much in love with me. A pseudo relationship continued through the summer until August, when I moved cross-country. From his past history (I knew a couple of his ex's) I knew that he tended to lock the closet door when he broke up with someone, and that breakups were pretty hateful. I figured I had lucked out when the worst that happenned to me was that a friend of his got nonstop hatemail for a month for sleeping with me. Well, all was well until a few days ago when he demanded that I send back all the letters he had written me, saying that they had been written with the belief that our relationship was much more than it was and that he felt that I didn't deserve them anymore. No, he didn't want photocopies of the letters, nor did he want me to keep photocopies of them. So it wasn't a matter of him wanting the letters (as our first conversation implied) but rather him wanting that I *not* have them. The thing is, since he is very much in the closet (now), I could do the same to him (tit-for-tat is the best strategy in non-zero-sum games) with much more damaging effects. He really needs counseling, and sought it once, but apparently he is not doing it anymore. Of course I could end this all by photocopying the letters and sending him the originals, but my tragic flaw is stubbornness. As is his. I also must confess to a strong desire to pound him into the ground. Does anyone know exactly how much harassment constitutes legal harassment? -- Jay Schuster ...!decvax!decwrl!shasta!schuster schuster@su-pescadero.arpa