daemon@decwrl.UUCP (The devil himself) (05/08/85)
This is sort of an apology fo my posting of a couple of days ago reg-
arding drugs and sex against one's will. I think that this would be a good
subject to continue discussing but in my case "I'VE BEEN HAD" It took me
a couple of days for certain aspects of the situation to sink in. I'm sor-
ry that I took up network space telling D's tale of woe, since in the light
of day, it now seems to be a fabrication to cover himself. Can we shift
the conversation to why so many gay men lie. This subject has always eaten
away at me.
Ok! I visited him at his place and he told me the story of his nightmare.
He asked me to give him a backrub, to which I agreed. He claimed to have not
showered for three days and was seriously physicly abused. He was laying naked
on the bed as I rubbed his back. Funny! he smelled as fresh and clean as if
he had just showered. There were also no marks of any kind on his body. He
claimed to have been seriously anally abused. If this had been the case, then
he would not have let me touch that area; instead he layed there moaning and
got quite aroused. I would think that anyone who had been through what he had
would not even want to think of sex, but he was ready and willing; Hmmmmmm!
Didn't hit me then since he was playing on my sympathies and I felt bad for
him. Well I left and he promised to call the next day. I kept getting, "He's
not here" from the roomate but I knew he was since I've seen him screen in-
comming calls. The robbery part also sounds sort of fishy. Another net.motss
reader shared a story about someone he knew who made up a song and dance
similar to D's. He actually pissed away the money partying and had to cover
his ass.
D has been avoiding me for the past couple of weeks. Said he was sick and a
friend saw him out at the bars, etc. I also think that he may have given me
the gift that keeps on giving and will have to get checked out. This all fits
in with the date that he first started avioding me. If it turns out positive
then he's the culprit since I haven't seen anyone else since quite a while
before I met him. Right now I feel VERY angry that I've been had the way that
I have. I have seen soooooo many gay men pull this sort of stuff on myself
and others. Right now I feel like a fool for falling for such a load of bull-
shit that I could scream or kick his door down.
I suppose I should have known; he was very into drugs and the bar scene,
which I am not. I fell for the man and got burned which reminds me of the
old disco song "Hit and Run Lover"
WHY! WHY! do gay men have to pull off these lies, bullshit stories and
games. It's enough to make me want to go straight or join a monestary. I
hear this same complaint from so many other HONEST people. Why do these
leeches attach themselves to GOOD people, suck the life outta them, then
move on, gain your trust then pull the rug out from under you? My roomate
tells me to forget him but I'm too pissed. I guess the old addage "Good love
liberates, bad love binds" holds true. If he in fact was afraid of his feel-
ings for me, then why couldn't he talk to me about it instead of playing the
evasive lie game? I've always been an open and honest person and have gotten
burned before. Friends tell me to change and become just like the rest of
these jerks. I'm sorry, but I cannot lower my standards for my own personal
behavior. Does this mean that I'll always be alone, since I don't play the
game...I hope not!
Anyone care to chat about experiences they've had where they ended up
hooked like some tuna? Also, I'de appreciate anyone sharing feelings of
anger, betrayal, etc that they felt while on the recieving end of such a
situation and how they dealt with it. D once told me "You're so nice, I
really don't deserve a man like you" He's right, he doesn't!!!
Ray (burned in Boston)sophie@mnetor.UUCP (Sophie Quigley) (05/09/85)
I doubt this will make you feel better, but for your information, gay men
are not the only people who lie in the way you've described. There are
a LOT of very messed up people in the world. What doesn't make matters
better is that there is still a doubt as to whether this was a lie or not.
My sympathies to both Dan and you.
--
Sophie Quigley
{allegra|decvax|ihnp4|linus|watmath}!utzoo!mnetor!sophiejohn@x.UUCP (John Woods) (05/10/85)
> ... but in my case "I'VE BEEN HAD" > WHY! WHY! do gay men have to pull off these lies, bullshit stories and > games. It's enough to make me want to go straight That won't help. Those straights who are members of the species Homo Sapiens are probably as prone to such games as gays of the same species. For some reason, this is referred to as "human nature" (thus giving us humans a bad name). And now, a bit of levity: > or join a monestary. Exellent solution! Come join the Church of St. Looney at the Cream Bun and Jam! Bring lots of plates, rubber spiders, and spray whipped cream! [And don't forget to watch more Monty Python, should this miss you...] -- John Woods, Charles River Data Systems, Framingham MA, (617) 626-1101 ...!decvax!frog!john, ...!mit-eddie!jfw, jfw%mit-ccc@MIT-XX.ARPA "MU" said the Sacred Chao...
desjardins@h-sc1.UUCP (marie desjardins) (05/10/85)
I realize this is net.motss, but I'd like to point out that people lie and use other people all the time, heterosexual or homosexual. I've had more guys lie to me, sneak around behind my back, etc. than I can count. I'm not sure why anybody does it -- it seems to me (at least in the case described) the guy isn't terribly sensitive, so why is he (apparently) not just telling you the truth? I guess there's two reasons -- he must know that if he did tell you the truth, you wouldn't keep hanging around, and he probably likes the sympathy he's getting in this case. I don't know how to stay away from those people, they usually seem very sincere. marie desjardins
ped@mtuxo.UUCP (p.davidson) (05/13/85)
REFERENCES: <2074@decwrl.UUCP>, <495@x.UUCP> In regards to Gays lieing, and in that case where someone said homosexual magazines show gays interested in just sex. It seems no one has noticed how many hetrosexual porn rag magazines are on the market, all showing hetrosexual sex. You should also listen to your friends as they talk about the girl the sc%&*ed behind their SO,s back, and watch as they lie straight to their SO's face. People tend to point fingers when it suits their needs only.
turner@saber.UUCP (Jim Turner) (05/13/85)
> WHY! WHY! do gay men have to pull off these lies, bullshit stories and > games. It's enough to make me want to go straight or join a monestary. I > hear this same complaint from so many other HONEST people. Why do these > leeches attach themselves to GOOD people, suck the life outta them, then > move on, gain your trust then pull the rug out from under you? My roomate > tells me to forget him but I'm too pissed. I guess the old addage "Good love > liberates, bad love binds" holds true. If he in fact was afraid of his feel- > ings for me, then why couldn't he talk to me about it instead of playing the > evasive lie game? I've always been an open and honest person and have gotten > burned before. Friends tell me to change and become just like the rest of > these jerks. I'm sorry, but I cannot lower my standards for my own personal > behavior. Does this mean that I'll always be alone, since I don't play the > game...I hope not! > Anyone care to chat about experiences they've had where they ended up > hooked like some tuna? Also, I'de appreciate anyone sharing feelings of > anger, betrayal, etc that they felt while on the recieving end of such a > situation and how they dealt with it. D once told me "You're so nice, I > really don't deserve a man like you" He's right, he doesn't!!! > > > Ray (burned in Boston) *** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE *** I've never posted to this group before so please excuse any major faux pas's that i may make. i am straight and can no longer use the 'some of my best friends are....' statement to qualify any comments i may make here, AIDS is very real ( as compared to net.jokes ) in the SF area. I am sorry about your experience with D, but consider what people in other minorities have had to do to create self-respect for themselves and respect from others. They have had to be more than just role models (see concurrent discussion on this) they have had to excel at being role models. Don't let D make you cynical or spoil your perspective. looking back on this it reads like a load of dingo's kidneys, but some where buried in my inability to express my feeling properly there is a truth in there. You're right he doesn't deserve you but there is someone out there who does and if you give up looking/dating he'll never find you. I missed a chance to help a friend when he need it, don't you Don't dream it, be it -Rocky Horror Picture Show Name: James Turner Mail: Saber Technology, 2381 Bering Drive, San Jose, California 95131 AT&T: (408) 945-9600 x75 UUCP: ...{decvax,ucbvax}!decwrl!saber!turner ...{amd,ihnp4,ittvax}!saber!turner -- god bless Lily St. Cyr -Rocky Horror Picture Show Name: James Turner Mail: Saber Technology, 2381 Bering Drive, San Jose, California 95131 AT&T: (408) 945-9600 x75 UUCP: ...{decvax,ucbvax}!decwrl!saber!turner ...{amd,ihnp4,ittvax}!saber!turner