levasseur@morgan.DEC (07/22/85)
Has Liberation Jaded Us in Some Ways
Jason Looks Back and Laments
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An old friend and I sometimes reminisce about how things were way back
when we first came out in the very early 70's. Some of you who read this
newsgroup may have just recently come out and not remember the good/bad
old days. I have enjoyed the war stories that older gay men have shared
with me of their experiences in the "Pre-Stonewall" era; of having to hide,
being involved in bar raids by the vice squad, not having any role models
etc. They also felt that things were better in some ways; because they
shared a common oppression, the men they knew felt a tighter commradeship
than I see today.
When I first came out there were no gay newspapers in the Boston area
and I wasn't aware of the existance of "Bob Damron's Guide" On campus we
got free copies of "Boston After Dark" which later became the "Phoenix"
Very hesitantly I answered a personal ad from a man who also attended the
same college as I. Larry introduced me to gay life; he was also the first
man I slept with. Larry took me to my first gay bar "the Other Side" in
Boston which closed years ago. It was a sleazy place where there was often
trouble with fag bashers and the police. I have to admit to being quite
excited on entering the bar, I was finally home; among others like me.
All the people Larry introduced me to ralleyed around me like old friends;
I was a new member in the fraternity and treated with love and respect.
Very quickly Boston became my home away from home as I learned where
all the other gay men hung out; Beacon Hill, the Back Bay, The Combat
Zone, to name a few. This was long before the South End enjoyed the gen-
trification that gay pioneers started. There was the Charles Street Meet-
inghouse, a gay coffee house which was Boston's alternative to the bars.
The bars were much more fun then, friendlier, full of life. Styx,
the 1270 and Cabaret After Dark became my playground. The one thing that
I recall was the lack of "Attidude" that prevails in the bars today. We
had to stick together in an atmosphere of opression. The first gay pride
parade I attended was festive, there wasn't the spectre of AIDS to deal
with. It was a day to be seen and celebrate our unity; we still do cel-
ebrate our strength but the parades seem somewhat angrier in recent years.
There were other firsts I got to see; the first gay magazine that you
didn't have to buy in the Combat Zone, a black and white slick magazine
called "Mandate". It could be purchased in a few mainstream Boston book
shops and corner stores. In a lot of ways I liked the first Mandate much
more than what's out now. It had class, attractive models and lacked the
explicitness that Mandate and it's followers show in their centerfolds
today.
Back in my early years of coming out the worst worry I had was of may-
be getting rolled by a fag basher while leaving a bar. We would come and go
as a group; safety in numbers! Like a lot of other men back then, I had
never heard of "Safe Sex" and induldged freely whenever I could. I was a
real slut in my 20's and proud of it. Back then a shot of penicillin could
cure what ailed a guy. We're now faced with a lethal disease that has taken
away friends, family and lovers. Why didn't AIDS start claiming lives 20-
30-40 years ago? Was it a product of our liberation? I can't answer that
but it has certainly effected the way that we interact.
There's another negative product I see which is an underlying attitude
of "I don't need you" As we've become more tolerated/accepted by mainstream
society there seems to be more of an aloofness toward each other; mostly in
bars and gay neighborhoods. Guys went out of their way to introduce them-
selves and be friendly way back then; at least to me. I was no beauty prize
winner then so it wasn't because I was some hot little chicken; matter of
fact friends see old pictures of me and say that I'm much more attractive now.
So what's the bottom line to all my ramblings? I just feel that it was
more fun to be gay in the late 60's and early 70's. Have we in some ways
become a little jaded over time after fighting a long hard battle to gain
acceptance? I still try to approach new gay social situations with all the
enthusiasm I showed back in "71" but get met with apathy, attitude, etc.
So how much headway have we made; AIDS is here for a while, a conservative
political environment is taking some of our rights away; the child custoday
case that's in the news comes to mind, etc. So! we are still operating in
a stiffling world, we still need each other as much as in the Stonewall
era. Go out and shake a new hand, give someone new a big hug!
Ray (aka) Jason to some
We shall not cease from exploration
But return to the place from where we started
And know that place for the first time.