sdyer@bbncc5.UUCP (Steve Dyer) (08/18/85)
"Bear", the straight married anonymous female, recently stated: > You live a life and emotions I do not understand, > only because you are in a situation unlike any I have ever known. which got me thinking a bit about my everyday life, gay culture, "gay emotions", etc. In a sense this is directed at the non-gay readers of net.motss, though it's also an invitation for comments from other gay people. The issue of differences between gay and straight people is complicated and multi-faceted, depending on the points you want to make and the method of analysis you take. I'm going to concentrate on what will seem almost blatantly obvious and not worth mentioning to some, but subtlety often gets lost in this discussion, so I'll forge ahead. My thesis is, simply, that there is no such thing as a "gay emotion" and that there are few categorical emotional differences between straight or gay relationships. This is no less true for committed couples, either cohabiting or married, a form of relationship which is probably less affected by gay/straight "cultural differences" for the points I wish to make. Right now I know a *lot* of couples--my straight friends are all at that late 20's-early 30's "marrying age", and being in a long-term relationship myself, we've also gained a lot of gay couples as friends. I see the same joys, trials and committment regardless of their sexual orientation. You still have to take out the garbage, still have to build a compatible living arrangement, still can reflect on your partner sleeping next to you, still have to plan together the life you both wish to live. The emotions which bind a couple together and which grow over time are identical in straight or gay relationships. I am not trying to dismiss the differences between straight and gay relationships (which certainly are there: should make some interesting followup discussion--hint, hint). I *am* trying to emphasize the commonality which comes, simply, from our shared humanity. -- /Steve Dyer {harvard,seismo}!bbncc5!sdyer sdyer@bbncc5.ARPA