rooter@well.UUCP (Brian Mavrogeorge) (08/19/85)
A lot of different topics all at once but I think my response to one makes sense of how I react to the rest. First, the question was posed how do we feel about the need to come out. I have strong feelings about it from the perspective of having done it and having been fired twice for being gay. In my opinion, I would do it again without hesitation. Harvey Milk (the slain gay Supervisor in San Fran) said that if he was ever assasinated he hoped that the bullet would rip open the closet doors across the nation. One of our big problems is the gay stereotype held by heterosexuals. Remember the television commercials by the National Gay Task Force? The message was simple "we are everywhere". Only when everyone comes out does the message come through. Only then does "gay" become real to our heterosexual brothers and sisters. Only then is it clear that they are not discriminating against some drag queen who dresses up like a nun in San Francisco - they are discriminating against their best friend, the guy they served in the Army with, the busboy in the cafeteria, their wife's gynecologist, their boss, etc. etc. The freedom to be who you are is exhilirating! No one defines for me who Iam. I do that. Iam a whole person, loved by God, and doing what I can with what I've got. Not coming out means you are forever defining yourself by someone else's stereotype. You are buying into that stereotype. Sure your jobs are at very real risk - others have lost jobs. Others have lost children. Have lost spouses. They felt it was better to live as themselves to live as someone else's stereotype. Having said that I must admit Iam uncomfortable with bi-sexuals. As one person said - they are an enemy in both camps. In the past I have experienced the bi-sexual's ambivalence towards the struggle for gay rights. The bi-sexual's readiness to merge back into the heterosexual society when the going got rough. However Iam realistic enough to understand that there are few 100% homosexuals or heterosexuals.. there is a continuum. I still working through my distrust of the bi-sexual. And finally some brief comments about living a life whose values etc are so different from that of a heterosexual. I come from a family of 5 sons. My brothers' lives and my life are very similar. We have the same values. We were brought with a strong Protestant work ethic. We have middle class values and believe in our religion. We thought that the answer to all ills was to work hard, produce more, and get ahead. We all wanted children. We are all married. We all had religious ceremonies celebrating our relationships. One brother is a liberal Democrat and marched in Selma. One is a middle-of-the-road Republican on fiscal issues but a social liberal. The others are Democrats. My point here, and yes I have rambled, is that again - we are everywhere. We are from all persuasions, all walks of life. There is only small difference between me and my brothers. Their spouses are all women. Mine is a man.
stone@masscomp.UUCP (Jonathan Stone) (08/21/85)
In article <138@well.UUCP> rooter@well.UUCP (Brian Mavrogeorge) writes: > Having said that I must admit Iam uncomfortable with bi-sexuals. As >one person said - they are an enemy in both camps. In the past I have >experienced the bi-sexual's ambivalence towards the struggle for gay rights. >The bi-sexual's readiness to merge back into the heterosexual society when >the going got rough. While many bi-sexual's may or may not be "sunshine patriots", there are few things that can be said of all bi-sexuals to distinguish them from the remainder of humanity other than that they (we) are sexually attracted to both males and females (Not ALL anymore than a lesbian is necessarily attracted to ALL women). (One does *not* need to sleep with both sexes to be bi-sexual. It is *not* what you do, but how you feel.) To make sweeping generalizations (as you appear to me to be doing) runs counter to the very justice which gay activists are supposed to be fighting for. ( note: "gay"-activist may well be a hazardous term in that it may imply a non-gay would not wish to fight for gay rights. Opinions?) In short, bigotry is ugly regardless of the source or the recipient. Also, have you considered how difficult it is to stick around when the going gets "rough" if you don't even have the support of those who are supposedly on your side???