levasseur@morgan.DEC (Ray EMD & S Admin 223-5027) (08/22/85)
Regarding "Bisexuality Anyone?"
In the 15 years that I've been out I can't count the number of "Supposedly"
bisexual men I've met. I have also dated about a half dozen of them and after
all these years believe that they're among the most confused individuals as
far as sexual orientation goes. Kinda makes me remember a poster that one bi
guy I knew had hanging in his bathroom with a two headed rooster; heads point-
ing in opposite directions. The caption read, "I don't know which way my pecker
is pointing!"
Yes, they claim to have the best of both worlds but can make the worst of
both worlds for their partners unless their partners are also bisexual. Maybe
I'm old fashioned but I just can't see a boy and girl, with another boy or
girl on the side, three boys, three girls or any other permutations and combin-
ations of more than two. If I had a mate, I would want them to know what they
wanted and not worry if they were going to run off with a woman if the spirit
moved them.
And yes, these guys can hide behind their marriage when the going gets tough
on the same sexed side of the fence. I became very good friends with the wife
of one of the guys I was dating. We both agreed to feeling used by the guy and
I broke it off.
I was married to my wife and loved her very much. She did not believe in
true bisexuality and neither do I. I've asked a lot of the guys, if they really
had to make a choice, what would it be? 99 out of a hundred opted for men hands
down. Most were afraid to make such a committment and preferred to walk both
sides of the fence. When my marriage ended I finally faced the fact that I was
gay and had attempted lieing to myself. Some guys have asked if I would ever
sleep with a woman again, and I highly doubt that it would ever happen. I enjoy
the company of women a lot but wouldn't sleep withthem now. The bottom line is
that I fel there are very few "True Bisexuals" I may be all wrong as this is
only from my own observations and the conversations of others.
Raysophie@mnetor.UUCP (Sophie Quigley) (08/26/85)
In article <78@decwrl.UUCP> levasseur@morgan.DEC (Ray EMD & S Admin 223-5027) writes: > In the 15 years that I've been out I can't count the number of "Supposedly" >bisexual men I've met. I have also dated about a half dozen of them and after >all these years believe that they're among the most confused individuals as >far as sexual orientation goes. Maybe as a reaction to the pressure to assume a UNIQUE sexual orientation. >Kinda makes me remember a poster that one bi >guy I knew had hanging in his bathroom with a two headed rooster; heads point- >ing in opposite directions. The caption read, "I don't know which way my pecker >is pointing!" Too much listening to the old "pecker" maybe, and not enough to his brain? > Yes, they claim to have the best of both worlds but can make the worst of >both worlds for their partners unless their partners are also bisexual. Maybe >I'm old fashioned but I just can't see a boy and girl, with another boy or >girl on the side, three boys, three girls or any other permutations and combin- >ations of more than two. If I had a mate, I would want them to know what they >wanted and not worry if they were going to run off with a woman if the spirit >moved them. Can you see two boys, with another boy on the side? If not then what you are objecting to is group sex, not bisexuality. If this image doesn't bother you, then what bothers you about the one you mentioned is the fact that there are women in it. If you're not attracted sexually to women, then don't get sexually involved with them. Do you worry about more about your mate running off with another man or another woman? if you worry the same amount, then you are worrying about fidelity, not bisexuality. If your mate running off with another woman would offend you more than him running off with another man, I suggest that you re-examine your attitude towards women. > And yes, these guys can hide behind their marriage when the going gets tough >on the same sexed side of the fence. I became very good friends with the wife >of one of the guys I was dating. We both agreed to feeling used by the guy and >I broke it off. Yes, that's what happens when you get involved with married people. It has nothing to do with the sexual orientation of the people involved, only with the nature of strong commitments like marriage. > I was married to my wife and loved her very much. She did not believe in >true bisexuality and neither do I. I've asked a lot of the guys, if they really >had to make a choice, what would it be? 99 out of a hundred opted for men hands >down. Yes, heterosexuality IS easier because it is accepted by society and because it simplifies certain other processes, such as making children. >Most were afraid to make such a committment and preferred to walk both >sides of the fence. Unless one is making a commitment to a particular person, why should one make a commitment to a particular sex? Ray, listen to yourself for a while. Try replacing everything you say in terms of race rather than sex and see how racist it becomes. If one is attracted to both blacks and whites (say), why should one make a commitment to only ONE race? that is simply stupid and racist. What you are saying is sexist! is it "walking both sides of the fence" to make love to a black man and a white man? Beware of the fences in your mind, Ray, they are the most dangerous... >When my marriage ended I finally faced the fact that I was >gay and had attempted lieing to myself. Some guys have asked if I would ever >sleep with a woman again, and I highly doubt that it would ever happen. I enjoy >the company of women a lot but wouldn't sleep with them now. I'm very glad that you are comfortable with your sexuality. >The bottom line is >that I fel there are very few "True Bisexuals" I may be all wrong as this is >only from my own observations and the conversations of others. > > Ray I think you are wrong. I think you might have had some very unfortunate experiences with bisexual men, but I certainly don't think you should judge all bisexuals from such a sample. Furthermore, I think that your attitude is very "biphobic" (and maybe even misogynist depending on your reasons). You have so far in your article equated bisexuality with sexual promiscuity, group sex and infidelity, which is what the heterosexual community equates homosexuality with. How dare you ask for understanding from your persecutors just to turn around and prosecute another group exactly the same way you were persecuted! YOU of all people should know better. SHAME ON YOU!!!!! -- Sophie Quigley {allegra|decvax|ihnp4|linus|watmath}!utzoo!mnetor!sophie
sophie@mnetor.UUCP (Sophie Quigley) (08/26/85)
In article <1882@mnetor.UUCP> sophie@mnetor.UUCP (Sophie Quigley) writes: >In article <78@decwrl.UUCP> levasseur@morgan.DEC (Ray EMD & S Admin 223-5027) writes: >> I was married to my wife and loved her very much. She did not believe in >>true bisexuality and neither do I. I've asked a lot of the guys, if they really >>had to make a choice, what would it be? 99 out of a hundred opted for men hands >>down. > >Yes, heterosexuality IS easier because it is accepted by society and because >it simplifies certain other processes, such as making children. Obviously I didn't read what you said carefully enough. However, I do have a rationalisation for your real answer too (<-:): Have you ever been asked by one of your lovers whether you liked them or one of your previous lovers better? Didn't you think that they'd be sort of offended if you replied replied truthfully that the other guy was actually much more fun? It seems to me that these kinds of questions are never asked to find out the truth, but simply to be reassured. Your 99 lovers simply sound very polite to me (did you actually make it with more than 100 bi's? <-:) by giving you the answer you wanted to a question they probably considered meaningless. You sound so anxious about bisexuality that I am not surprised that people gave you the answer you wanted just to calm you down. It really is NOT an important issue. -- Sophie Quigley {allegra|decvax|ihnp4|linus|watmath}!utzoo!mnetor!sophie
valerie@sdcc3.UUCP (Valerie Polichar) (08/27/85)
[] Why should bisexuality imply non-monogamousness? It simply means that one is attracted to folk of both sexes. A permanent partnership could just as easily be formed by a bisexual and a person of either sex as between two heterosexual or two gay individuals. The issue is the same, it seems to me: it shouldn't be any harder for a bisexual to "give up [the sex not partnered with]" than it is, for instance, for a woman to abstain from taking other female lovers in order to maintain sexual loyalty to the woman she is partnered with. -- -=< Valerie Polichar >=- ...sdcsvax!sdcc3!valerie "And the Crimson Dynamo just couldn't cut it no more; you were the Law - "