malnar@ssc-vax.UUCP (Nine Mile Skid) (05/17/85)
Copied without permission/comment from a writing assignment of my supervisor:
How many times have you been caught in a rush hour traffic jam and
thought, "There must be a better way"? Would you be interested in
eliminating the nerve-jangling experience of fighting bumper-to-bumper
automobiles and Type A drivers for two or more hours each business
day? Although these problems are serious, they can be solved if we
apply good old American ingenuity (and a few tax dollars). I propose
financial incentives to reduce the volume of commute traffic; we
merely pay would-be workers to remain home.
Twice a day our major arterials are clogged with single occupant
commuter vehicles. They merge onto the undersized roadways and into a
stream of crawling traffic to compete for the same limited space.
We've already tried to solve the problem with flex time, carpools,
ridesharing, vanpools, ridematching, four day weeks, and express bus
service. These attempts have all failed miserably and completely.
Tax supported financial incentives are the backbone of our entire
economic system, and have been used previously to solve similar
problems involving overproduction. My proposal is based on the highly
successful farm Soil Bank program. (This program pays farmers to sleep
late rather than wake at dawn to plow, seed, cultivate, and harvest
certain crops.) My proposal is simplicity itself: we reimburse
would-be workers for each avoided commute mile. Those residing
furthest from the job site would receive the largest payments. (These
payments would be tax exempt, of course.) My plan provides the added
benefits of reduced fuel consumption, reduced air pollution, and
increased family time.
If you like my plan, rush your contribution to me at SCAM - Shrewd
Coalition of Aggravated Motorists. I promise to be the first
ex-commuter, and to spend your dollars to our mutual benefit.
--
joe malnar, {ihnp4,cornell,tektronix,etal}!uw-beaver!ssc-vax!malnar