peterson@vaxwrk.DEC (Bob Peterson) (08/30/85)
From ...!mnetor!sophie >This discussion in net.motss puzzles me somewhat. How easily factionalised >people can become! one would think, that since homosexuals have had such >a hard time explaining to heterosexuals that *really* people are pretty >much the same, no matter what their sexual orientation is, that they would >apply this reasonning to another group of people with a different sexual >orientation. Yet I hear some claims of not "trusting" bisexuals, of >bisexuals being in both "camps". Not trusting what? what camps are we >talking about? is there a war going on here between homosexuals and >heterosexuals with bisexuals as double-spies? is that what love is all >about for some of you? give us a break! >-- >Sophie Quigley I couldn't agree more. I can't believe my gay brothers (I haven't heard any lesbian women speak up here) think all bisexual people are mentally ill! What a horrid thing to say. The next liberational movement is reserved for bisexual folk, I hope. \bob
sdyer@bbncc5.UUCP (Steve Dyer) (08/31/85)
>I couldn't agree more. I can't believe my gay brothers (I haven't heard any >lesbian women speak up here) think all bisexual people are mentally ill! What >a horrid thing to say. The next liberational movement is reserved for bisexual >folk, I hope. >\bob I like to think that most of the cant about bona-fide bisexuals is coming from a vocal lunatic fringe of the gay movement. Most gay people I know don't have much of an opinion about bisexuals as a class, except to lump them in with gay people when it comes to civil rights. Now, with that said, I think it's worth responding to some of Sophie's neo-liberal painting of people as faceless automatons who might choose John one day, and Jane the next, depending on how the whim might strike them. Whether it is due to societal strictures or something innate, I think we have to recognize that she is describing a Platonic ideal which has few realizations in today's society. Bisexuality today can describe many different situations, from being in a monogamous relationship, to cheating on your partner in a supposedly monogamous relationship, to having a "bigamous" relationship with a member of each sex, to having an open relationship, or identifying no relationship as primary, or even having no relationship. It's unfortunate that bisexuals as a whole get tarred by individual observations which are hard to generalize, but I think there are a couple of situations which are worth keeping in mind: The married bisexual (which sometimes means married gay person) in which that person hasn't come out to the spouse, yet is actively pursuing entanglements with the same sex. This is a very sad and nerve-wracking situation for everyone involved. Now, how does this differ from hetero- sexual infidelity? There are a lot of similarities, but usually there is an additional clash of culture and values which adds to the strain. Like it or not, this describes a lot of people who identify themselves as bisexual. Does this make them the "enemy"? Of course not, but it does seem prudent to enter into a relationship with such a person with your eyes open to the possible problems and ethical dilemmas. -- /Steve Dyer {harvard,seismo}!bbnccv!bbncc5!sdyer sdyer@bbncc5.ARPA