fisher@dssdev.DEC (Gerry Fisher --- Terminally Inane) (01/11/86)
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The following posting is flaming (pun intended):
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Welcome To KenWatch
Vol. I
KenWatch is an organization dedicated to the dogged pursual of Ken
Arndt postings whenever they appear in MOTSS. Whenever Ken posts, we
post a follow-up. There are several beneficial effects of this public
service, such as the following:
1) A statement of general disapproval of Ken's latest rantings and
ravings, lest some poor souls out there actually think that
people *agree* with such nonsense. :-)
2) A guide to new Ken Arndt readers, explaining the nuances of
Arnt-isms, homophobia disguised as humor, and other assorted
rubbish. :-)
3) A way to team up so that one person does not have to work as hard
as Ken does when he attempts to form sentences. :-)
4) To way to have a gay ole time, for a change.
Well, here's the first volume of KenWatch (*sure* to be as big a
collectors item as the first issue of "Fag Rag"). Hey buckos, remember
to...
Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep chargin' (it *is* the American way!)
--Gerry Fisher (Editor in Drag)
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Section 1: Favorite Arndt-isms from his last Posting
_____________________________________________________
Well you think it will never happen to you. [Think! Did he say
"think"? By far, the
best joke of the posting.
--Ger ]
The show ain't over till the fat lady sings. ["Lady"? tsk tsk.
Sexist terminology. I'm
*sure* he didn't mean
it. --Ger]
This past weekend my son told me he wanted to be a GIRL!!!!
[We are too late,
buckos. Ken has already
reproduced. --Ger ]
I wanted to go out on the back porch
and light up the neighbor's damm dog on full auto with my HK 91!
[Most warped
masculine posture in the
entire posting. --Ger]
But thank goodness I've been a motss reader and have developed FEELINGS
and stuff for those with sexual perferences, eh?
[Is Ken being clever?
(perferences/perversions)
...Nah! Just a spelling error.
--Ger ]
(the luscious lady who keeps me straight) and his sisters I sat him down for
[You mean without the influence of
his woman...???...hmmmm.
There's the sexist term again. I guess
he meant it. Consistent sonuvagun.
--Ger ]
Quick thinkin', eh?
[AAAAAaaaaahhhhhhaa, ha, ha, ha. Tell me another
one! --Ger
But what I'd like to know is what else could I have done??? I mean what have
some of you experienced from family, friends, your top??
[Your "top." My, Ken has done his homework.
Stunning defamation of gay slang.
Dis-tastefully done, bravo! --Ger ]
'thin ice'?? How about in 50 words or less, 'I'm not a fag because . . . .'
(Now don't go balistic on me because I used that word among friends!)
[Serious delusions, here. Friends? None of my
friends call me "fag." Even if some people's
friends do, they wouldn't have to apologize
in the next sentence (feeling guilty?). --Ger ]
I've seen a little on the net about this topic but I suspect that there is
a whole untold story floating around out there.
[Untold story! Just like the National
Enquirer! --Ger ]
Keep chargin'
[AAAaaaaaaaaahhhhaaa, ha, ha, ha, ha!
*Love* that signature. It warms my loins!
--Ger ]
Section II: Witty Remarks about Ken's Posting
______________________________________________
None today, thank you. Who can say it better than Ken?
--Ger
Section III: Advice for People who read Ken's Last Posting
-----------------------------------------------------------
You need to attend Policeman's night at the Ramrod for deprogramming.
I am *so* thankful. Without Ken's last posting, I would never have
known about such a gala event!
--Ger
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Sorry for the brevity. I expect a little help with Volume II, so the
next volume of KenWatch should be *much* better.
If you would like to join KenWatch (sane, straight people from Digital
Equipment Corporation are especially welcome :-) ), just send a
self-addressed, stamped mail message to ...
Gerry Fisher
...decvax!decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-dssdev!fisher
You can either contribute your favorite, humorous, Arndt-homophobic
line contained in his last posting, your favorite witty response to
one of his lines, or general words of wisdom for those poor souls who
may have read Ken's last posting. :-)
*** You too can join KenWatch !!! ***
There are two ways to join the group at KenWatch! You can send mail
to the above address, stating whether you would like to become a
Lifetime member or a Temporary member. Lifetime members are *sure* that
they will *always* be disgusted with an Arndt posting, and wish to
have their names listed at the bottom of *every* KenWatch posting. :-)
Temporary members wish to have their name listed at the bottom of one
KenWatch posting that is in response to an Arndt posting that is
*particularly* offensive to their personal values: a sure-fire way to
pinpoint your criticism of Ken. I'm sure he would appreciate that! :-)
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KenWatch Members: ( *** = Lifetime Members )
***Gerry Fisher (Editor in Drag)
***Alfred E. Newman National Association of Pet Owners
***Sister Theresa PTA
***Larry Bird Ramrod bars across the nation
Gerry Fisher
...decvax!decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-dssdev!fisher
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Nashua, NH: Where the men are men, and the sheep are nervous.csdf@mit-vax.UUCP (Charles Forsythe) (01/13/86)
>The show ain't over till the fat lady sings. ["Lady"? tsk tsk. > Sexist terminology. I'm > *sure* he didn't mean > it. --Ger] Gerry, while I applaud the KenWatch movement, I have to object to this particular piece of editorialism. Why is "Lady" a sexist term? "Lady" refers to either a female head of household, or more generally a female with some sort of socio-political standing. Are you suggesting that we eliminate the word from the English language thus robbing women of the opportunity of being reffered to as someone of status? (-: Ah! I see! Only men should have status! Oppressing women under a veil of feminist intent is shameful gynophobia! :-) -- -Charles
manis@ubc-cs.UUCP (Vince Manis) (01/13/86)
I've got so good at hitting the 'n' key when I see an Arndt posting that I
really don't have any idea whether his remarks have changed a lot. While
the notion of a 'KenWatch' might be good in theory, I suggest that a prepared
file could just be posted each time Ken does his thing. It could read as
follows:
"This posting is in response to a posting by Ken Arndt. Nothing Ken
ever says has content; while some is a little bit amusing, you won't
find any of it useful, enlightening, or worth reading. If all homophobes
had the creativity, insight, and sense of purpose that Ken has, we
would all be able to devote our time to more valuable goals."
Regular readers of Motss could all then agree not to read, comment on, or
in any other way acknowledge Ken's existence. Like homosexuality in the
People's Republic of China, Ken simply wouldn't exist.