levasseur@euclid.DEC (Ray EMD & S Admin 223-5027) (01/20/86)
This is sort of an apology for my rather strongly worded posting entitled
"It Ain't Pretty" Many of you cannot see the world from my angle since you don't
share whatever curse it is I seem to have around gay men. I was talking with a
few aquaintances over the weekend who agree with my stand on gay cattiness/pet-
tiness toward random outsiders and the funny thing is that none of them are
native New Englanders. They come from the Midwest, Southwest and West Coast.
Maybe this explains some of it since New England has a reputation of not being
the warmest, most embracing place.
It was interesting, in the pouring rain yesterday I met a guy on Boylston
Street in Boston who kept following me. I'de seen him around quite often but
had never talked. We spent the afternoon together and he admitted to asking
around at a bar about me; pointing me out to friends. They told him to stay
away and that they heard I was bad news. This is mildly amusing since I had
never met any of his friends. He said that I gave off threatening/intimidating
vibes. Geeee! I get this a lot! I always thought of myself as a pretty laid
back, friendly person. Enen my roomate (who claims to be my best friend) will
usually overtly/covertly do all in his power to avoid having me fit in with
his circle of friends. I bathe daily and keep myself well groomed, so it can't
be hygeine! To those of you who are warmly embraced in new social situations,
God bless ya....yer lucky!
I've been thinking a lot lately and maybe because we've been prejudged so
much by society, some pass on this prejudice to their gay brethren as a way
to compensate for their own insecurity. Well, the problem belongs to me which
is one reason I've decided to drop out. It just gets mighty frustrating after
16 years of being out, to not fit in your own social environment.............
I find this hard to beleive but I've chatted with some mighty devilishly
handsome men and they claimed to be lonely. No one wanted to approach or talk
with them. I don't claim to be an Adonis or even attactive although a lot of
people tell me I have a hot look which puts others off....whatever hot may
be! No! I'm not feeling bad for myself, just thinking out loud. If there are
others who share this station in gay life, I'de appreciate hearing from you
via personal mail, no need going down a rathole on the net with this.
Regards, Ray