riddle@im4u.UUCP (07/18/85)
The following are actual items, devices and/or processes recently submitted
to the United States or British patent offices for patenting.
AUTOMATIC TOILET-LID LOCK. To prevent unauthorized access to the toilet
bowl. (U.S. Patent 3,477,070)
WHISPER SEAT. Toilet seat with acoustical liner which prevents sounds
from being heard by other persons. (U.S. Patent 3,593,345)
COMBINATION DEER-CARCASS SLED AND CHAISE LOUNGE. (U.S. Patent 3,580,592)
EYEGLASS FRAME WITH ADJUSTIBLE REAR VIEW MIRRORS. (U.S. Patent
3,423,150)
FLUID-STREAM-OPERATED ZIPPER. For men. (U.S. Patent 3,517,423)
POWER-OPERATED POOL CUE STICK. (U.S. Patent 3,495,826)
CARRY-ALL HAT. A hat with a cavity for carrying cosmetics, jewelry, and
the like. (U.S. Patent 3,495,575)
SIMULATED FIREARM WITH PIVOTALLY MOUNTED WHISKY GLASS. Pulling the
trigger pivots the glass toward the wielder's mouth. (U.S. Patent
3,450,403)
BABY-PATTING MACHINE. Battery-powered device for putting a baby to sleep
by means of periodic pats on the rump. (U.S. Patent 3,552,388)
ELECTRONIC SNORE DETECTOR. Snores are detected and the snorer receives
an electric shock. (U.S. Patent 3,480,010)
PHOTON PUSH-PULL RADIATION DETECTOR FOR USE IN CHROMATICALLY SELECTIVE
CAT FLAP CONTROL AND 1,000 MEGATON, EARTH-ORBITAL PEACEKEEPING BOMB.
(U.K. Patent 1,426,698) "To detect the difference in the colour of the
fur on the back of a cat wishing to gain entrance to a house by means of
a `chromatically selective cat flap,' to thus admit to the house a cat
which has GINGER fur but not admit a cat which possesses BLACK fur; and
to provide, in an Earth Orbital 1,000 Megaton Complete Disintegration or
CND Bomb Automatic Reprisal Satellite Bomb, forming part of an Automatic
Response Nuclear Deterrent System, or ARNDS System for short (as
described in U.K. Patent No. 1,361,962, `MEANS FOR DETECTING WITH
CERTAINTY WHETHER A NUCLEAR ATTACK HAS BEEN MADE.')"
HEMMORHOID TREATMENT PREPARATION PRODUCED FROM HOT CHERRY PEPPERS.
(U.S. Patent 3,781,424) "This new composition of matter, a soft solid
residue of `Capsicum annum,' is intended for oral administration in
various forms and prescribed doses to human beings suffering from
hemmorhoids. Hemmorhoids are not known to exist in other animals than
humans, therefore it is intended as a hemmorhoidals remedy for the relief
of hemmorhoids in mankind."
Source: "Tom Gill Predicts," Volume VII, Number xviii. Free subscriptions
now available (for a limited time only) from TGP International, 2477
Sycamore Lane, Suite E-6, Davis, CA 95616 USA.
--- Prentiss Riddle ("Aprendiz de todo, maestro de nada.")
--- {ihnp4,harvard,seismo,gatech,ctvax}!ut-sally!riddle
--- riddle@ut-sally.{UUCP,ARPA}, riddle%zotz@ut-sally, riddle@im4u.UUCP