GMP@psuvm.BITNET (08/17/85)
Pity for the ignorant! North Dakota is the maker of humankind, the great
incubator. On Rte. 81 from Fargo to Grand Forks, long ago, the mighty A.G.
Arvold, father of the American outdoor pageant drama, once had gauzy clad
Ndak virgins plant 80 miles of lilacs, promptly eaten by the cows. In 19
ought and 57, F. G. Walsh blasted a natural amphitheatre out of the ground so h
e could produce "Old Four Eyes," dedicated to the Teddy Roosevelt who got shot
at once in a bar near Minot (or some such place). At Fort Abercrombie you can
see the Sioux get revenge every year for the price of one dollar. On the re
rRed River near Wahpeton, the mostquitos still carry off the cows. In the old
days, the fur traders went upriver in August, covered with fur, pulling their
wagons so the mosquitos could not kill the horses. And across the river in
Moorhead, you can still get the best steak in North American, in West Fargo, th
ey have a store with the greatest stock of sweaters in North America, and once,
a long time ago, Mayor Herschel Lashkowitz of Fargo used to keep city hall open
on Sunday, but close it on Saturday the Sabbath. I lost my house in a tornado
in good old Fargo, along with my academic virginity and my faith in humankind.
I learned from North Dakota that Mother Nature is a capricious bitch and I was
represented in Congress by old Usher Burdick who voted against America`s entry
into two (count em) two World Wars. Is there a North Dakota, baby? You blanki
ng well bet there is and those of us who lived there can outcuss, outstay, and
outfox any collection of namby pambies from any other location in America.
There are so few people in North Dakota because they export people, the toughes
t on the continent. Take heed, Canadians, the Red River Valley was where Louis
Riel got his start. I could go on, but why... No one will find this note be-
cause the machine tells me I haven`t enough disk space to post a notice, I
don`t know how to use this network, and I don`t know how you can reach me to
cuss me out. All I know is I am gmp@psuvm and some other stuff that makes no
sense at all. But I have fought for the good name of the ...... now just what
the hell is the nickname of the state I used to call home --- aha, the Peace
Garden state. Dixi!