goldfarb@ucf-cs.UUCP (01/03/85)
I heard this on the radio this morning. It is apparently a true
story.
A man was arrested and convicted of moonshining even though the cops
didn't find any booze when they legally searched his premises. What
they did find was a still and all the necessary peripherals to make
whiskey. The judge was asked by the defendant how he could be found
guilty if the court had no evidence of his wrongdoing; the response was
that having the requisite equipment is enough to convict.
To which the defendant replied, "Then you might as well convict me
of rape, too!"
--
Ben Goldfarb
University of Central Florida
uucp: {duke,decvax}!ucf-cs!goldfarb
ARPA: goldfarb.ucf-cs@csnet.relay.CSNET
csnet: goldfarb@ucf.CSNETpresley@mhuxj.UUCP (Joe Presley) (01/03/85)
> A man was arrested and convicted of moonshining even though the cops > didn't find any booze when they legally searched his premises. What Back home (SW Arkansas) there are still quite a few moonshiners. A few years ago, a still blew up, severely burning a man and his two teenage sons. While they were in the hospital burn unit the sheriff had the man arrested and handcuffed to the bed. Talk about insult to injury! -- Joe Presley (ihnp4!j.presley)
steph@nsc.UUCP (Steph Rutel) (01/04/85)
.............I thought I would contribute some old, but "cute" and
funny (at least I think so) yuks......
Q. How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A. Californians don't screw in light bulbs...they screw in hot tubs !!
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And then there was the story of Little Red Riding Hood on the way
to visit her Grandmother. "Red" was a little concerned about walking
through the woods all alone. After all, there were a lot of weirdos,
especially wolves, out roamin' the woods these days.
Being the smart young lady that she was, Red packed her Grandma's
goodies...and then very carefully packed her .45 pistol into her
basket. She put on her red cape, told her Mom goodby (who responded
by telling her not to accept rides from strangers), picked up her
basket and scooted off to her Grandma's house.
Everything was going fine. However, her tra-la-la-ing was stopped
short about three-fourths of the way through the forest when a big
bad wolf jumped out from behind a tree !!
Wolf: Now I've got you, Little Red Riding Hood !!! And I'm going
to kill you right now, before you get to Grandma's house !
Where upon Red reached into her picnic basket, pulled out her .45,
put it right up to the wolf's nose and said....
NO YOU'RE NOT !!! YOU'RE GOING TO EAT ME, JUST LIKE IT SAYS IN THE BOOK !!
(I SUPPOSE YOU HAD TO BE THERE ....)
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And of course there is the true story (I actually listened to the incident
while I was living in Portland, OR) of the lady newscaster assigned to do
an update story on the Mount St. Helens eruptions.
It seems that this lady (who shall remain nameless except to all those who
actually saw the broadcast) was in a helicopter flying fairly close over the
mountain when it spewed out a fairly large puff of steam. Now this
gal, wanting to be the professional that she thought she was, immediately
responded with :
(Please note this is not verbatim, but it does contain the spirit)
Mount St. Helens has just had an erection !!!
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I wonder where her mind was ???
STEPH'R @ NSC