moriarty@fluke.UUCP (The Napoleon of Crime) (04/15/85)
<NOTE: This is not Judge Moriarty speaking. This is the Napoleon of Crime. Please respect my particular form of schizoid behaviour. Thank You.> To continue the article <353@idis.UUCP> trio@idis.UUCP wrote: >DF Lawyer: If the situation was so bad, why didn't you call the police? > >Plaintiff: With a tank cannon staring me in the face? > > > >I LEAVE IT UP TO THE OTHER READERS TO DECIDE THE OUTCOME OF THIS SITUATION >(AND PERHAPS WRITE SOMETHING WITTIER). DF Lawyer: You could have yelled for them. Plantiff: For the police? DF Lawyer: For the church. Plantiff: For the Church Police? Judge (not me -- oh, we already settled that): THE CHURCH POLICE! [Room suddenly filled with men in cassocks, carrying nightsticks, revolvers and bolos]. Detective-vicar: What's all this, amen? Plantiff: I didn't expect some kind of Spanish Inquisition... The Grand Inquisitor: NOOOOOOOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! And now that we've got this article back on the right track.... ----------------------------------------------------------- DEAR MR. NAPOLEON OF CRIME, I cannot say how shocked I was to see the following sketch unfold without one mention of Lisa Chabot. This hard-working person has gone to great lengths to shoot sobriety out of the sky with a BB pistol, yet your drama unfolds without even a nod in her general direction. Even in she was practicing Not Being Seen. I expect to see this remedied sometime in the near future, in that I see Ms. Chabot in the pages of your ridiculous ramblings. She should not be mentioned just in passing, but be a major attraction, served in a white wine sauce, and garnished with butter and parsley. Mr. Ardnt may serve her brain any way he bloody well likes. Excuse me, I have to go. The Communists are running up my wife's blouse. Aaaah! General Pomeroy J. Snidleywhipple, Ret. 1829 Python Nostalgia Lane. Manchester England, England, Across the Atlantic Seaaa, And he's a Genius's Genius... "I believe in GAAAAAAAWD..." ----------------------------------------- Lisa Chabot was born in a Larch Tree on March 23rd, 1821, and then again 9 months later. She began life holding up the Lupin express, but then went into Semaphore Theatreeeerridiojfsdlkajdflksajfkldsajl OH, SORRY, SQUIRE, I'VE SCRATCHED THE AUTHORSORRY, SQUIRE, I'VE SCRATCHED THE AUTHORSORRY, SQUIRE, I'VE SCRATCHED THE AUTHORSORRY, SQUIRE, I'VE SCRATCHED THE AUTHORSORRY, SQUIRE, I'VE SCRATCHED THE AUTHORSORRY, SQUIRE, I'VE SCRATCHED THE AUTHOR ----------------------------------------- There is a land beyond time and space, where the air is always pure, and engineers are happy. It is... the Moriarty Zone.... And if we get him to a hospital soon, we may be able to help him... "Strong men blench! Women scream! Children vomit!" Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc. UUCP: {cornell,decvax,ihnp4,sdcsvax,tektronix,utcsrgv}!uw-beaver \ {allegra,gatech!sb1,hplabs!lbl-csam,decwrl!sun,ssc-vax} -- !fluke!moriarty ARPA: fluke!moriarty@uw-beaver.ARPA